How to Fall in Love With an Arrogant Toe Rag
by LiLy-saLvatore-cuLLen
Summary: Lily's subconscious checklist on how to successfully fall in love with someone who used to be... well, an Arrogant Toe Rag.
1. Step 1: Notice His Gorgeous Eyes

"Lily! Hurry up or we're going to be late for Muggle Studies!" my best friend, Alice Prewitt, yelled through the portrait of the Head's Dorms.

"I'm coming, Alice… just a few seconds!" I yelled back hastily putting my hair into a ponytail. I put my brush down, picked up my bag, checked the mirror one more time, brushing my auburn fringe out of my emerald eyes, then rushed out of my bedroom. I opened the portrait and crawled out. There stood Alice, long brown hair curled today, perfectly framing her oval face and electric blue eyes.

"Hey, Alice. Sorry for being so late."

"It's fine, Lily. Let's go."

We made our way through the halls to the Muggle Studies classroom. This was the only class that came extremely easy to me this year. Being a Muggleborn, I already knew everything. All of my other classes were NEWT level, like Advanced Potions and Advanced Transfiguration, though I didn't know how I scored that one. I am _terrible _at Transfiguration. I was perfect student in every class except that one. For some reason, things just didn't work out for me. I said the incantations right… I think. And the wand movements weren't too difficult… at least I didn't _think _they were.

Muggle Studies ended all too abruptly. We received a foot-long essay explaining how exactly a stove works. This would be easy. Now, it was time for Transfiguration… It was only the third week of classes and McGonagall already had us transfiguring animals into inanimate, household objects.

Unfortunately, Alice was not in this class with me, so we parted ways near the Great Hall, where she met up with Frank, her boyfriend of 3 years, for their free period. I waved to Frank as he nodded back, slipping his arm around Alice's waist.

"We'll see you at lunch, Lily!" Alice shouted.

"Save me a seat, guys!" I shouted back. Then I turned and walked to Transfiguration class. It was like the walk a condemned murderer would take to the gallows. Yeah, it was that bad. Who knows what fate had in store for me today… how would I screw up _this _time?

As I contemplated various ways of screwing up, I found my desk in the classroom. I sat next to Narcissa Black. For a Slytherin, she wasn't half-bad. She didn't partake in any of the teasing or torture of Muggleborns that had increased exponentially this year. In fact, she didn't seem to approve of any of it at all.

"Good morning, Narcissa."

"Hello, Lily."

"Do you know what we're doing today?"

Narcissa looked at her nails. "No idea. I just hope it has nothing to do with anything creepy crawly."

I smiled a bit, and she let out a sort of chuckle. That was the extent of our conversation. We weren't friends… just acquaintances. But polite and decent ones at that.

I heard some loud ruckus behind me. Sirius had come in chasing Remus whilst swinging a sausage-link like a club. Remus was trying as hard as he could to ignore Sirius, quickening his pace and clutching his books to his chest. To his dismay, Sirius would just speed up as well, poking Remus in the cheek with the sausage. James and Peter walked in behind them, roaring with laughter. Another reason I hated this class: James and his Marauder friends had this class _together._ What could be worse?

Given, James hadn't been all bad this year. When I boarded the Hogwarts Express this year, heading to the compartment where the Head Students were meeting, I was extremely shocked to find who my counterpart would be. _How did James become Head Boy? How is that possible?_ James and his Marauders were the most notorious trouble-makers in the school. Possibly even in the history of this school. When I walked in, I had expected a genuine James smirk and an arm being put across my shoulders with a comment like "I thought about you all summer, Evans. It made me all hot and bothered. Let's say we make my dreams a reality, eh? But being around you already has me like that again…" Something bloody pathetic like that. Then I would lift his arm off my shoulders replying with something intelligent and witty like "Only in those dreams, Potter."

But that's not how it happened at all. I walked in, and he stood from his seated position. I thought to myself, _Here goes…_ but he offered me his seat since it was the only one in the compartment.

"How was your summer, Evans?"

"Er… enjoyable. And yours?"

"Enjoyable as well."

"So, it looks like we'll be Head Students together this year."

"Yeah. Er, do you think we should quit with the surnames, since… you know, we'll be working together and all that? Set a respectable tone with the prefects and all?"

I was awestruck. James just said _respectable _without guffawing like a fool. And without a sarcastic remark after it.

"Uh, good idea, Pott- I mean James."

James gave me a grin. "Alright then, Lily."

James still acted like a goofball, but he didn't partake in as many pranks as he used to. He still did some stuff, but the teasing and arrogance had toned down _a lot. _I had definitely noticed. And it seemed he didn't even have to try that hard to tone it down. It didn't seem like a struggle for him to behave.

My musings were interrupted by Sirius yelling.

"Thou art a villain, Moony! Never again shall you refuse a perfectly cooked sausage-link in my presence!"

He tried to force-feed the sausage link to Remus. Remus clamped his mouth shut and turned it this way and that avoiding Sirius' probing.

"Sirius, shoving sausage down my throat will not bring me on good terms with sausage. I told you, I don't like breakfast sausage."

"That's a _sin, _Moony. Everyone enjoys breakfast sausage. Am I right, Prongsie?"

"Inexplicably, my good Padfoot."

"You see, Remus? You're the odd one out. Peter likes sausage, too."

"Peter likes everything."

"That's not the point. You are not a true Marauder unless you like sausage."

"Sirius, that is insulting!" Remus feigned hurt and put his hand to his heart. "You've brought this a little too far. Eat that sausage yourself."

"Be glad to." And with that, Sirius ate the whole sausage. He didn't even chew, I don't think.

McGonagall walked in with her brisk pace to the front of the classroom. She stood by an aquarium covered with a dark red cloth. I could only guess what was under there.

"Good morning, class. Today we will be trans—"

"GOOD MORNING, MINNIE MCGOOGIES!"

"…Good morning, Mr. Black. Good to see you are enjoying your morning. Now, today we will be transforming stick bugs into spoons…"

I groaned inwardly. I felt Narcissa tense next to me. _Nothing creepy crawly…_ Poor Narcissa.

Poor me.

McGonagall had used her wand to take the cover off the aquarium, where inside were dozens and dozens of 6-8 inch long stick bugs crawling all over each other. Bloody brilliant. If this wasn't the butter to my biscuit.

She had also charmed a piece of chalk to write down what she was saying as she explained the incantation and wand movements. The incantation, _Creatura Mutatio,_ I had down in no time. That was the easy part. The hard part was the movements, when and how do perform each part. The two words had to match up with certain movements. Those are the parts I could never get.

"Now practice the incantation and movements with your quills first. Make sure that while you say "_Creatura" _you are swishing your wand to the left with an abrupt hook at the end, and when you say the "_Mut" _part of "_Mutatio" _you are bringing your wand up and as you finish the phrase you are bringing your wand down quickly. I want to make sure you have this down, because any flaws can lead to disastrous results."

Doesn't any flaw in transfiguration lead to "disastrous results"?

I picked up my quill and attempted to repeat the movements as I had seen McGonagall do them.

"Ms. Evans, be sure the movements are abrupt and jerky, not smooth and curved."

"Yes, Professor."

I sneaked a glance at the Marauders as McGonagall approached them to critique.

"Perfect form, Mr. Potter! Black, outstanding."

"I do it to please you, Love." Sirius remarked, giving McGonagall a smile that would make any other girl faint. Cross my heart, I had seen it happen.

McGonagall blushed a tiny bit. I mean, who wouldn't? This was Sirius Black, Hogwarts womanizer and chick magnet.

"Mr. Black, another remark like that will earn you a detention for a month."

"If the detention was served with you, Minnie, I gladly accept." Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

James snorted and instantly buried his face in his arms, shaking.

"Mr. Black… nevermind." McGonagall then went over to Remus and Peter's table to critique them.

After she was done checking everyone's skill, she made her way back up to the front of the class. She clapped her hands to make everyone quiet.

"Alright, it looks like most of you have the incantation and wand movements down. Now, each of your tables will get a stick bug. It is your job to turn it into a spoon, then back to its original form. Make sure both partners have it. Each partner will observe the other's work. Begin."

As soon as she said begin, she swished her wand, and suddenly a stick bug was at each table. Narcissa scooted her chair back from the table as far as it could go.

I heard murmurings of incantations around me, and observing, I could see everything from silver stick bugs to spoons sporting legs and creeping about the tables. I glanced at Potter and Black's table and saw Potter turn the stick bug into a spoon, then back, then to a spoon again, no sweat. _Wanker._

"Bloody Hell." I murmured to myself, pushing my sleeves up so my hands were unobstructed. I then swished my wand and uttered "_Creatura Mutatio." _As soon as I finished, I heard a loud _SNAP_! I looked around me, noticing that all the other students had frozen what they'd been doing and looked in my direction. I looked back down at my stick bug. To my horror, it had begun to lengthen. And thicken. It was growing at a very fast rate. I stood up quickly, knocking my chair down in the process. I pointed my wand out in front of me. My hand was making my wand jerk around uncontrollably. Narcissa screamed and ran out of the classroom hands waving about. Other students had stood up as well and were back away as the stick bug continued to grow. It was well over seven feet, and the table it stood on collapsed, unable to support its weight any longer. The rest of its body knocked over the chalkboard, the aquarium with the other stick bugs in it, and other tables. I looked around frantically… looked anywhere except at the menacing pincers in front of me easily three feet in diameter.

I heard another _SNAP_ and suddenly the stick bug stopped growing, well over ten feet in length. It began to stomp around the classroom, knocking out anything that stood in its path of destruction. Students began to scream and run about in all directions. I stood where I was, horrified at the monster I had created. McGonagall was frantically trying to calm students down and point her wand at the creature at the same time. Any magical attempts at ceasing the bug's rampage were in vain. The bug continued to destroy everything in its path. It seized some tables in its mouth, crunching down and effortlessly splitting them in two, like a person snapping a toothpick in half. That's when it started to go after students. It began chasing multiple students, but as they ran out the door, the bug realized it didn't fit. About a quarter of the class remained in the room, and the stick bug stayed by the door, blocking any chance of escape. I looked around for McGonagall, and found her lying on the floor, apparently unconscious, as I saw a piece of wood by her head.

_Oh no._

I began to make my way towards the professor, when my sudden movement focused the gaze of the bug on me. If pincers could lick their lips, that's definitely what the bug did.

It started after me, knocking down the remainder of the desks and breaking other cages and aquariums of creatures. I screamed and began backing up, almost tripping over myself in the process. A solid object hit my back. A wall. Perfect. The bug was less than ten feet away from me now, slowly creeping up, relishing its trapped prey and the fact that it had no way to escape. Its head stretched toward me, pincers opening up. I could see inside the bug's mouth.

Then I heard a yell in the distance, and there was a blinding flash of yellow light. The light seemed to engulf the bug, paralyzing it and making it shake and vibrate and lift off of the floor a few feet. The face of the bug curved upward, leaving a slight dip in the center and the rest of the body thinned and flattened until towards the rump it thickened a bit more. I barely registered James running over to me. As he reached me, the now gigantic spoon settled on the floor, the impact of the landing knocked James over and he crashed into me, both of us landing on the ground with him on top of me. I closed my eyes on impact and groaned in pain. James was _heavy._

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Dust and debris were settling, and students were getting up off the floor and coming out of other hiding places. Other students who had ran out, came back in and looked around. Then, I looked in front of me. James' eyes were focused on mine. They were a caramel brown with tiny gold and green flecks in them. A darker, more chocolate brown directly circumnavigated his pupils. As I had never been this close to James before, it had never given me the opportunity to really _see_ his eyes. They were beautiful… absolutely _gorgeous,_ and his glasses only magnified their effect on me. They had me in a trance… they reminded me of freshly baked cookies, the golden brown and warmth that filled them.

He stared back into my eyes. I saw worry, passion and love all dart across his eyes. Then realization filled them, and he quickly lifted himself off of me and stood up. I was left on my back, staring at where his eyes just were. I was vaguely aware of a hand in front of my face, offering to help me up. I grasped it and James pulled me up, hand lingering in mine a little longer. He drew it away and ran his hand through his hair.

"Alright there, Evans?"

"…Yeah."

"That was some bloody mess of a monster you created there," he said chuckling.

I clenched my fists in anger at this comment. _This was not funny. The professor is unconscious, the classroom is destroyed, the student body was almost eaten by a hellish mutant of a devil…_

"This is not funny, James." My voice was so grave, it scared me a little.

"Evans, just calm down. It's all over now… seriously, just calm down." James said, backing away cautiously. I hadn't even noticed I was advancing. I stopped and counted to ten to myself, effectively calming me down. I could outwardly see James relax. He then smirked at me, and walked back to Sirius, who had his wand out.

"Sirius, what are you—" I heard James say as Sirius conjured up a giant bowl of oatmeal.

"I figured, we have this spoon here, so I fancied myself a bowl of blueberry oatmeal. Who's with me?"

The other students burst out into laughter, James ruffling Sirius' hair and putting his arm around him, playfully shoving him around. Remus and Peter soon joined, and the Marauders left the classroom in fits of hysterics, as did other students. I was left alone, standing in the midst of the destruction I had caused, and near a now-waking Professor McGonagall. _So they were leaving me to clean up this mess myself. Very mature, James. Very mature. Way to be a responsible Head Boy. _This day was absolutely awful.


	2. Step 2: Sighting His Shirtlessness

The Friday afternoon after the Giant Walking Stick incident in Transfiguration, Alice, Frank and I were walking outside. We were all done with classes for the day, and it felt great to just walk on the grounds by the Black Lake.

It had been a rough week for me. After everyone had left the classroom, McGonagall had woken up in a sort of confused trance. She looked at me, then around her, then back at me with a questioning gaze in her eyes. I held out my hand to help her up. She took it and I hoisted her back to her feet where she proceeded to dust herself off, remove her glasses and clean them, put them back on, and find her hat.

"Ms. Evans… _whatever _happened in here?"

"You… you don't remember, Professor?"

I then told her everything that had happened, and she started to remember. I offered to take her to Madam Pomfrey.

"Oh… no, Ms. Evans. I'm quite alright… are _you _alright? By the sounds of it, it was lucky Mr. Potter is so good at Transfiguration…"

"Yes, Professor." I mumbled. I didn't want to think about _Perfect Potter._

"Well then. I'll just clean this up." With a swish of her wand (after spending five minutes looking for it under the rubble), the classroom put itself back together. Desks mended themselves and stood up, the chalkboard righted itself, creatures were put back into their now-fixed cages and aquariums, and the dust disappeared. She even got rid of the Giant-Spoon-That-Used-To-Be-A-Demonic-Log-Of-Pain-And-Destruction.

"Ms. Evans. Is it just me, or are you also aware of a giant bowl of oatmeal in here?" She glanced at the bowl and back to me warily as if she thought she was nuts. "Maybe I _should _let Poppy check on me…"

"Oh no, Professor! That was Sirius…"

"SIRIUS IS A GIANT BOWL OF OATMEAL?! WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?" she screeched.

"No… Professor… Sirius _conjured _the bowl of oatmeal… something about there being a giant spoon and all…"

"Oh. Well, I'm surprised he didn't conjure up giant _toast_ to go with it. Well done, Mr. Black. Well done." McGonagall rolled her eyes and made the oatmeal disappear as well. With that, everything looked as it did when I walked in this morning.

"Professor… I am _so _sorry about…"

"Don't even mention it, Ms. Evans. Mistakes happen. You're lucky, though." She gave me a small smile. "Have a good day, now, Ms. Evans… and _practice._"

With that, I left the room in a hurry after grabbing my bag.

The rest of the week was fine, school-wise, but news of my little mishap had reached the ears of other students, and they would snigger and point at me while I walked down the hall, or if I was eating. Alice and Frank were my only source of comfort.

"Lily, it will pass just like everything else," Alice said, trying to be reassuring.

"Mmmf." I mmmfed.

"It might go down as one of the most amazing disasters at Hogwarts, though." This was Frank trying to be reassuring. I glared at him. Alice smacked his arm.

"OW! Alice…"

"Don't say things like that, Frank. Lily, don't pay attention to him. I only keep him around 'cause he's gorgeous anyway." She winked at Frank.

I dropped my head into my arms.

And now, finally, it was Friday. This week was _over_ and I could _relax. _After dropping our bags off in our rooms, and changed because it was bloody _boiling _outside, (I mean, it was September in Scotland, for Merlin's sake. It wasn't supposed to be 97 degrees out. The weather just decided to bloody screw around with us.) The temperature had been increasing all week long. It wasn't common for students to show up to class without robes, and with their sleeves pushed up and top buttons completely undone. It was _that _hot. And usually, since it wasn't this _hot, _Hogwarts had no cooling mechanisms whatsoever. So students retreated outdoors. This is where Alice, Frank and I retreated as well.

There were students sitting and relaxing in the shade, doing homework, reading, sunbathing and whatnot. Hundreds of students were in the Black Lake, floating, swimming and splashing around. We decided to dip our feet in. Alice and I sat down right away, Frank had to roll his pants up a bit. It felt heavenly and instantly cooled us off. I looked over towards the castle. I could see figures flying around on broomsticks on the Quidditch pitch.

"Wow. It's bloody 100 degrees out, and they are _still _practicing. That must be absolute torture." I made a mental note to yell at Captain Bloody James for his risky practice, putting students in danger of heat stroke and dehydration.

"It can't be too bad for them, Lils. They're flying around in the air at 75 kilometers an hour. If anything, it must be refreshing." Frank mentioned.

"I beg to differ, honey. This is really warm and humid air. I bet they feel the same way we do just sitting here. Imagine a blow-dryer blowing on your face while sitting in an oven. Would it do you much good?" Alice prompted.

"I suppose not."

"That's it. I'm not going to let this go on any longer. It's not right for James to exert his team in this heat. It's not safe." I got up form where I was sitting, grabbed my flip-flops and began marching towards the Quidditch pitch.

"This can't end well…" I heard Frank tell Alice.

"I know… let's watch." Good old Alice.

They eventually caught up to me, as I was so set on ending this injustice. We reached the Quidditch pitch and went to sit in the stands so we were closer to the height the players were at. I could see James flying around shouting out plays and orders. They darted about tossing the quaffle back and forth at blinding speeds. _We are getting really good._ I thought to myself. I was a Quidditch fanatic. Absolutely adored watching it.

"ALRIGHT! MANDATORY WATER BREAK, GRYFFINDORS!" I heard James shout. _Good. I suppose I don't have to yell at him after all. He's taking care of them._

"You see, Lily? I told you it wouldn't be that bad." Frank nudged me and grinned.

"I suppose so, Frank. Should we just stay and watch, then?"

"Fine by me. Too hot to move." Alice groaned.

The players sank to the ground and went near the team benches to get their water. I watched as James took a giant swig from his water bottle, swish it around in his mouth then spit it out. He then actually took several gulps from it and poured some on his head. He shook his head, water spraying everywhere. Marlene McKinnon smacked him playfully, assuming she was in the line of fire of the water. James just grinned and pushed her back. I knot formed in my stomach.

Some of the team members decided to take their shirts off. Girls and boys alike stripped themselves completely. Albeit, the girls had on sports bras… but it amazed me how comfortable they were around each other. I mean, I don't think…I… would be… able to… _PHWOAR._

Like his teammates, James had decided to take his shirt off as well. It's like time decided to go slow motion for me as I watched him lift his shirt off. His tanned, _muscular _torso practically slapped me in the face. I felt my mouth open. He shook his head again, tossed his shirt over his shoulder and mounted his broomstick again. He pushed off into the air.

"Lily. _Lily._ LILY!" I was acutely aware that my name was being called… but I couldn't draw my eyes away from Potter. _Quidditch is the world's favorite sport. Glamorous. Absolutely glamorous._

Suddenly, Alice shook my shoulders and I reluctantly dragged my eyes away from James Hotter… I mean Potter.

"Lily. Look at me. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." My voice was gravelly, so I cleared my throat. "Nothing." Much better.

"Do you need some water, Lily? Your voice sounds dry." Frank offered me his water bottle.

"No… thanks Frank." I returned my gaze to the Quidditch god I had discovered oh-so-recently. James darted about, the wind blowing his messy, raven hair back. I sighed. Loudly.

"Lily…?" Frank scooted away from me.

"What?" I looked at both Frank, who was a few feet away now, and at Alice who had a tiny smirk on her face and this sparkling in her eyes.

"What?" I repeated.

"Franky, I think Lily is just a bit _distracted._"

I smacked Alice's arm. She just laughed and rubbed her arm.

"I am not. It's just… James is being careless about his team. That water break wasn't _nearly _as long as it should've been. It takes twenty minutes, _twenty minutes _for water to have its effects on the body. He…"

Alice just laughed at me. "Sure, Lily. I could see that _'hideous glare'_ you were aiming James' way. If looks could kill, Lily, James would still be very much alive."

I turned my face away from her laughing self. Whatever. She didn't know anything. It wasn't like I was ogling… _oh my God. I was ogling James Potter._ I mentally slapped myself. It didn't do anything, so I actually slapped myself.

"Ouch."

Alice and Frank looked at each other, exchanging glances that said "_What the hell."_ Then they both looked at me.

"Lils…" Frank said, reaching for my forehead. "OH MY GOD ALICE, SHE'S BURNING UP."

"Frank, don't be an idiot. Of _course_ she is. In case you haven't noticed, it's a furnace out here."

"But… she's turning red, too…"

"_That's_ because she's in love."

"Oh."

Wait. _WHAT?_

"Alice. What did you just say?"

"Oh, you heard me, Lily." She replied nonchalantly. "You know it's true."

"Alice. Just because I enjoy _looking_ at shirtless boys does _not _mean I am in love with them. I'm a girl. It's only natural. I can admire from afar."

"Oh contrare, my innocent, naïve Lily. You were looking at a particular shirtless boy. By name of James Potter, to be exact."

Alice could be so evil sometimes.

"So? In case _you _haven't noticed… Potter's body has filled out. I mean… he used to be this scrawny, translucent shrimp, but _now…" _I couldn't finish that thought. I didn't trust myself to.

"Yeah? And now?"

"Shut up." Alice just smiled and kissed Frank's cheek. Frank's gaze went a bit crooked. Love-struck bloke. It was so funny seeing them together at times. They were perfect for each other. I envied their relationship. Frank had had a crush on Alice since first year, but hadn't gathered the courage to ask her out until the end of third year. Alice had secretly been crushing on Frank as well. I knew. She told me, _all the time._ She was absolutely thrilled when Frank had asked her that she actually jumped at him and kissed him right then and there. Needless to say, Frank was extremely confident she'd say yes, and completely fazed at the same time. Not long after they kissed, Frank fainted. Poor bugger. It was hilarious all the same.

I watched them for awhile, admiring their _togetherness_. I hoped I'd be able to find someone like that for me someday. I once again looked toward the practicing Quidditch team. They were all flying towards the ground. Practice must be over. I got up, stretching. Alice and Frank noticed, and got up as well, hand-in-hand. We made our way out of the stands and walked away from the Quidditch pitch. Not long after we did, I heard someone running behind us.

"LILY!" Bugger. Bloody buggering sodding hell. I kept walking.

"LILS!" This time I turned around, annoyed, about to say something back when my words fell out of my mouth and died right there. Poor words. Didn't even stand a chance of being said. I had murdered them. They hadn't died in vain though, because a very sweaty, very _shirtless _James was running at me. His white, knee length basketball shorts had slipped down a bit, revealing the lip of his dark blue boxers underneath them. He stopped right in front of me, heaving breaths. He bent over, trying to catch his breath. This gave me a spectacular view of his back. His shoulder blades stuck out a bit, leading to a very muscular and tan back with beads of sweat dripping in every which way. I think I drooled a bit. I checked my mouth to wipe away any stray spit. _Damn. _I _had _drooled.

James bent back up, and I quickly wiped my hand on my shorts. He put his arms up, setting his hands on his head, still panting. His rippling pecs stared at me… his abs tightening and loosening as he breathed in and out. I watched a droplet of sweat run down his rock hard stomach and shimmy past the dark trail of hair leading to… _LILY! DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW! OR EVER!_ The sweat droplet meshed into his shorts. I slapped myself again.

"Ouch."

"Lily?" James questioned, his left eyebrow shooting into his hairline.

"Er… yeah. Right. Did you need something James?" I asked, rubbing my cheek.

"I just needed to tell you that I won't be able to make rounds tonight. I've already asked O'Neal to go in my place. He'll meet you outside the Head's dorms at 9 o'clock."

"…" My eyes were scanning his body again. I licked my lips unconsciously.

"Lily. Did you hear me?" James waved his hand in front of my face.

"9 o'clock. O'Neal. Got it. Thanks James." I quickly turned around and left. I couldn't risk completely embarrassing myself… or jumping his bones. _No, No, NO! Stop thinking those thoughts Lily! It's Potter. JAMES SODDING POTTER we're talking about here. You know, that arrogant toe rag you can't stand to even look at without inwardly puking? Yeah. Him._

Frank and Alice, unbeknownst to me, had kept walking during my conversation with James. I jogged to catch up with them.

"So… what did he want?" Alice gave me this suggestive look.

"Oh, nothing like that, Alice! He was just telling me that he couldn't make rounds tonight. That's all."

"And does that..._upset you?"_

"Well, yeah it… ALICE! DON'T DO THAT. I WAS CONFUSED." Alice and Frank roared in laughter. I felt my face burn. I was _not _in love with James Potter. I repeat _not sodding in love with bloody James Potter._

_Yeah, but admit it, _a rogue voice in my head said to me, _he is bloody sexy, though._

_Yeah_. I turned around again, seeing the figure of James in the distance retreating back to walk with his teammates. I had to admit it. James sodding Potter was _bloody sexy._


	3. Step 3: Take a Midnight Dip

By the end of the day and into the evening, the temperature still hadn't dropped. It still lingered around 98 degrees. At dinner time, everyone in the Great Hall was absolutely drenched in sweat, as if we had all decided to come to dinner after showering with our clothes on. And it was smelly. Did I mention it was smelly? Yeah, because it was.

As a treat and sort of lifesaver, Dumbledore had the house elves make cold food, so there was a lot of ice cream, popsicles, fruit smoothies, vegetables, shakes, garden salads and cold pasta salads. I made a mental note to hug Dumbledore. And the house elves.

As the sun set, I noticed James and his friends get up very quickly and leave the room. _What the hell? Oh, whatever. Bloody idiots, the lot of them._ I turned my attention back to my Greek salad. Alice was chowing down on a Caesar salad, and Frank was shoveling mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth.

"So Lils… did James tell you why he couldn't make rounds tonight?" Alice asked.

"AHHHH BRAIN FREEZE!" Frank screamed.

Other people from different tables glanced at Frank.

A half a minute went by.

"OKAY IT'S GONE!"

"Fascinating, Frank! Now shut up." Alice said jokingly. Frank just gave her a closed-mouth grin, putting more ice cream in his mouth and whipping the spoon out of his mouth smugly.

"Come to think of it, he didn't say anything… I don't know why I wouldn't have asked…" I _did_ know why I hadn't asked. Let me give you a hint: it had something to do with a godly, tan and naked torso inches from myself. The muscles… the sweat… the…_STOP. _This was getting out of hand.

"Huh. Strange…" I continued. Alice and Frank just shrugged. I checked my watch, and seeing that is was 7:30, decided to attempt to take a small nap before rounds.

"I'm gonna go take a nap, guys. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast." I stood up.

"See you later, Lils. Have a good night!" Alice chirped.

"Good luck sleeping in this heat," Frank urged. Thanks, Frank.

I wiped the perspiration off my forehead. _Damn it was hot. This is ridiculous._

I made my way up the stairs and down various halls until I reached the Head's dorms. I gave the password (newt buckets) and crawled through the tunnel into the common room. I could hear muffled voices coming from James' room. I approached his door and put my ear to it.

"James. We have to get outside _now. _Look at Moony."

"It's still too bright out, and there are students still outside, Padfoot. We can't make a clean getaway into the Forbidden Forest until then. You know that."

"What about the invisibility cloak?"

"Wormy… Prongs already told you we have to minimize our use of it with all this shit going around outside of Hogwarts. And _inside _of Hogwarts. If _anyone _got wind that James has an invisibility cloak…"

"Shut up, Padfoot! Let's just think about what we need to do."

I heard a serious of coughing and groaning. It sounded extremely painful.

"Okay… where's the map? We'll just go to the Shrieking Shack this time."

"Moony basically destroyed it last time, Prongs."

"It's our only choice, Wormtail! C'mon… bring the map. We'll go to the humpbacked witch. We just have to make sure nobody is around it."

I heard them getting up, and once again heard an extremely painful groan, plus two more grunts. I backed away from James' door, and looked frantically for somewhere to hide. I ran to the windows, where floor-length curtains hung. I bolted behind one of them, trying to stop moving so the curtain would be still.

As the curtain settled, James' door opened. I peeked my head out a little so I could see. Out came Peter and James with Remus, looking pale, sickly and tired with his eyes closed tight in a grimace with his arms around both Peter and James' shoulders. Sirius came out last, holding a yellowing and wrinkled parchment in one hand and closing the door with his other. He took out his wand and pointed it at the parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." Ink-like veins spread across the parchment. My eyes widened in awe. _What the bloody hell is that?_

"There's no one in our path so far. C'mon… we have to hurry if we want it to stay that way." Sirius uttered.

Remus heaved and breathed in a high pitched gasp. His eyes widened as he stared aimlessly at the ceiling.

"COME ON! IT'S STARTING! WE HAVE TEN MINUTES MAX!" James yelled. "Come ON, Wormy… faster!"

"I'm trying, Prongs!"

Sirius grabbed Remus' legs and hoisted them up. That increased their pace immensely. They left the common room and out the portrait hole. I heard faint shuffling of their feet, and then nothing.

I moved the curtain out of my way as I cautiously stepped out from my hiding place. I was shaking… and I didn't know why. What was wrong with Remus? Shouldn't he go to Madam Pomfrey? What were the Marauders hiding? _What in the name of Merlin's second aunt on his mother's side was that parchment?_ Millions of questions swam through my brain… none of them with answers. That was it. I resolved to stay up after rounds and wait for James. I would force the answers out of him. Whatever he was doing was against the rules, and definitely _not _the way the Head Boy should be behaving. I nodded curtly to myself, sealing the deal I made. Then I entered my bedroom to try and sleep.

I lied down on my bed, set my alarm for 8:55, then turned on my side putting my arm under my head. I stared out the window at the Forbidden Forest and felt myself getting drowsy. The last image that reached my eyes before I drifted off into sleep was the blood-red full moon rising above the tree tops.

* * *

_His warm arms circled about my waist, instantly deleting any space that had been between our bodies earlier. I trembled in excitement as his lips grazed my throat and slid up my neck to halt just before my lips. Our breaths mingled, his mouth open slightly. I glanced at his mouth, then back at his golden eyes, which had darkened into a melted butter since I last looked at them. His fingers dug into my lower back, as if claiming his property. I was _his._ And only his. He would make sure of that. In return, my fingernails grazed his scalp. His hair was so soft as it glided through my fingers. I couldn't get enough of it, so I kept running my fingers through it. I then grasped his hair in my fists. He was _mine_. And only mine. He brought his mouth to my ear and nipped it gently, then ran his nose across my cheek as his mouth stopped in front of mine again. I'd had enough of this teasing, so I brought my hands out of his hair, grabbed both sides of his face and forced him to look at me. His eyes pierced into mine and I knew right then and there what I wanted… what I needed. Roughly I brought his face towards mine. Our lips were inches apart, centimeters apart… millimeters…_

!

I jumped about a foot in the air as my alarm went off. I sat up quickly, putting my hand to my head and trying to remember what I had just been dreaming about. It was a _nice _dream… I felt a little warm… no… I was drenched in sweat… and not just because of the heat. I was with a boy… he smelled like forest and cinnamon… a familiar smell… that dream was SO realistic… I could feel where his arms had encircled my waist. I brought my hands down to my waist and felt around a bit. Nope. No arms. I glanced into my mirror, my hair was disheveled and my mascara had run a bit. I glanced at the clock. 8:57. I was supposed to be meeting O'Neal in about three minutes. I jumped out of my bed and went to my dresser to tidy up a bit.

I brushed through my hair, and ran my fingers under my eyes to smear away the mascara and any eye bogies that might have lingered in my eyes. Satisfied with my appearance, I smoothed my shirt and shorts, and reluctantly donned my robes and put on my Head Girl badge.

I could see O'Neal as I exited the portrait hole at 9:00. He was short for a sixth year, about 5'2. So intimidating. How did _he _become a prefect? How would he enforce any rules? My guess is people would just step on him if he displeased them in any way. Oh well. It wasn't up to me to choose prefects. But still… what was Potter thinking? Seriously? Why didn't he ask Roberts? He was like 6'5. I'd feel safe with him. He would just juice anyone to a pulp if they so much as looked at him the wrong way…

"Good evening, Lily. How are you?"

"Erm… good. How are you…?" I racked my brain for his first name. Samuel? Shea? Sergio?

"…Sage!" I all but blurted out.

O'Neal backed up a little bit with a look of shock on his face. I was a nutter. That's what he was thinking.

"I'm doing, er, great. Shall we then?"

"Yeah." We began walking down the halls with our wands out.

It was one of the most uncomfortable rounds I had ever experienced. The first being my first night with Potter. We didn't talk _at all._ And our hands kept brushing against each other's, so then we'd be forced to look at each other with apologetic expressions muttering "Sorry Lily," or "Sorry James." And then stare forward once again. Extremely awkward. I wanted to shoot myself in the foot the whole time. At least _that _would have forced a conversation. I imagined it going something like this:

"Lily! What the bloody… You just shot yourself in the foot!"

"Yes, Potter. I did."

"It's bleeding like crazy!"

"Yes. Fantastic observation."

"I should take you to Madam Pomfrey!"

"No, just get me a bandage. It should heal in a few days."

Bloody hell. Even my imaginary anti-awkward how-it-could-have-been replays of first rounds with Potter were awkward! I needed to go to St. Mungo's. I was delirious.

"Lily?"

"Mmm? Sage?"

"It's 1 o'clock in the morning. Nothing has been going on."

"…Yeah. It must be too hot for even trouble makers and snoggers to be out…" _Snoggers? Really? I had just invented a new word. Well done Evans, stand and give a speech. "Thank you, random voice in my head…Well, first I'd like to thank my mum and dad for always being there for me. Next, I'd like to thank Potter for _not_ being there and forcing me to retreat into my own head…" _Bugger this heat was getting to me. And I still had to stay up and wait for James. This was going to be a long night. Good thing it was Friday… I mean Saturday as it was now past midnight… _Just shut up, Lily. _Okay.

"Yeah. Do you want to walk around another time, or should we call it a night?"

"Let's call it a night, Sage. Thank you for taking James' place. You were a great help. See you at the next Prefect's meeting."

"Okay. Good night, Lily."

"Good night."

He walked away down the hall taking a left to the Ravenclaw dorms. I sighed. Now it was time to go back to the Head's common room and _wait._ Good thing I wasn't that tired. That nap had done me some good.

I crawled through the portrait hole.

"James?" I called out. No answer. So he wasn't back yet.

I changed into pajamas, and then sat in a chair by the window, not bothering to turn on lights, and just stared at the grounds. The usually green grass looked blue at night, and the trees looked black and formidable, but were improved by the silver streaks of light from the moon that hit them. There was no breeze. Everything was completely still. I glanced at the clock. 1:45. _Damn._

The next hour went by so slowly, I almost gave up and went to bed. It was 2:45 in the morning and Potter _still _hadn't come back from wherever he was. Was it worth it to wait up? Or could I just approach him tomorrow during the day? _No,_ I told myself. _It's much more forceful and meaningful to corner him right when he's returned… so there's no denying, lying, or chances to think up a different alibi._ No. I was going to wait for him.

I wiped sweat from my face. Buggering hell, I was just _sitting _here for Merlin's pet gerbil's sake! I took out my wand and uttered a water charm that sprinkled water on my face. Then I charmed the still air to make a slight breeze. This cooled me off for about 2.37 seconds before I was blistering hot again.

_Sod it all._ Fine. Temperature, if that's how you want to be… _fine._ See if I care. Great. Now I was arguing with the elements. I checked my forehead. Nope. Still normal. Somewhat.

I heard the portrait slide open, and I instantly froze and looked over my shoulder. I ducked lower behind the back of the chair, as I was in front of a window with moonlight streaming in. Potter would be able to see my outline if I wasn't careful.

I watched as he crawled in. The moonlight made a spot light on him, and I could see that his shirt and shorts were torn, and there was a dark liquid on them. _Blood?_ _James…_ He stood up from crawling through the tunnel and stretched, hissing in pain as he did so. He didn't turn on lights either, but I could see as he removed his shirt that he was soaked with sweat and there were streams of blood flowing from a deep and nasty gash on his collar bone.

He bundled up his shirt and threw it away from himself, not caring where it landed. His hair was damp, and dripping droplets of sweat onto his skin.

"_Bloody hell… this stings…"_ he hissed to himself, taking out his wand with a whispered "_Lumos" _as he shined it by his collar. I gasped silently. A five inch gash adorned his collar, and it looked deep.

"Shit, Moony."

_Moony?! As in Remus?!_

James waved his wand over his wound, and the skin knitted itself back together. It must have still been painful though, because James growled a bit and put his hands on his knees heaving in breaths.

"…Gah! Bloody hell it's _scorching_ in here…" He seemed to look around him, making sure no one was watching. As if anyone would be up at _this hour_ waiting for him to return just so they could catch him and… _oh. That would be me._

James paused and stayed still a little bit, as if contemplating an idea that had run through his head. He seemed to make a decision quickly, because he turned around and went back to the portrait hole.

_Oh, no you don't, Potter! Not on my watch!_ I waited until he exited the dorm, then got up to follow him. I crawled out of the portrait hole and saw that James had his wand out, giving a dim light. I followed him through the halls until I found ourselves passing the Great Hall. James was heading towards the doors.

_What the HELL are you doing, James? Are you a bloody nutter?_

James opened the doors slightly, went out, then peeked back in looking around as he shut the doors. I stayed pressed as close as I could possibly get to a wall. He didn't see me. Good.

The heavy doors shut as quietly as they could, which still emitted a somewhat loud _thunk_. I tiptoed over to the doors and opened them slightly. I peeked out of the small crack I had made and saw the outline of James running down towards the Black Lake. _Was he really going to do what I think he's going to?_

James ran full speed to the lake, and took a great leap out into it. He landed with a splash that I could faintly hear. _Was he CRAZY? There was a SQUID in there! And merfolk! And grindylows! Reckless wanker was going to get himself killed._ I huffed, straightened my camisole and pulled up my pajama shorts a bit before I opened the crack a little more and slipped out, shutting the door behind me.

I made my way down to the lake, where I stopped and hid myself in some brush by the lake. James was treading water a little ways out, running his hands through his hair and occasionally dunking himself in. The moon reflected off his skin in such a way that a silvery aura was about him. He shook the water out of his hair and began to just swim around. I watched as his biceps and triceps flexed as he pulled himself through the water. His back muscles crunched together and smoothed out as he breast-stroked in no particular direction. I had to get closer. I crept a little further into the brush. It was bit soggier here than I would've liked it to be, but oh well. James kept swimming, having no idea someone was watching him. _Oh shit. I'm watching him. I am SUCH a creeper. I need to be put on the insane wing of Mungo's. Hello nurse, I'll just check myself in thanks. Oh, thanks, but I already bought myself one of those pretty white vests…_

I continued to go forward, spreading the branches apart as quietly as I could, getting closer and closer to James. _A few more feet…_

" GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The ground gave way from underneath me and I was welcomed into the icy cold water, hands still frantically grasping for something to grab onto. I heard the splash I made as I was engulfed under the water. _Well… shit man. Shit. Now he'll definitely be aware that someone was watching him._

I swam to the surface, my head breaking through as I gasped for air. I treaded water, searching for James. I could see a tuft of black hair sticking out under the water. _Brilliant hiding spot, James. What, did you think I would think you were seaweed or something?_

I swam over towards the tuft and pulled on it slightly. James surfaced with a graaaaar.

"Graaaaaar! Evans! What the bloody hell are you _doing?"_

"I could ask you the exact same thing _Potter," _I spit back venomously.

"That's… that's none of your business. What, did you… did you _follow_ me?"

"No, Potter, I simply emerged from the bushes and fell into the lake. Wrong portkey. Apparating mishap. Take your pick."

"Seriously, Evans. What the hell."

"Potter… for real. What the hell are _you _doing out here? It's three in the morning! Where were you all night?"

"I wasn't feeling good, Evans. I was in my room all night…" Potter looked away.

"Stop lying, James. I was sitting in the common room when you came in." I traced his healed gash that was now just a pink scar. His muscles tensed under my touch.

"Where did you get this, Potter?"

"Lils… that was nothing. Nothing. I came in and realized I was bleeding. I don't know how it happened, it…"

"JAMES. STOP _LYING_ TO ME! I heard you say 'Moony.'"

James closed his eyes and grimaced.

"Shit."

"James… please. Tell me the truth." His eyes opened as I said "James." He searched my eyes, trying to find any way out of telling me.

"You can trust me James. I know something is going on with you and the others… I… I heard you in your room…after I came in from dinner. I didn't mean to… I just…"

"_Shit, _Lily!"

"James! I couldn't help it! It's my dorm, too! If you need privacy with your friends, that's probably not the best spot to go!"

"…Lily… I can't. I can't tell you. It's not just my secret to tell."

"What was wrong with Remus?"

James just stared at me incredulously. We treaded water about a foot away from each other for a few minutes, feet and hands bumping into each other every few treads, before he said anything. Many emotions crossed his face. Uncertainty, caution, distrust, despair, then surrender.

"Lily… what I'm about to tell you… you _cannot _repeat to _anyone. Ever."_

"I won't… James… I promise." He swam closer to me and brought his face close to mine. About 5 inches away.

"Do you _swear it_ Lily? I'm talking about like, unbreakable vow type secrets here. If they weren't illegal at school I swear on Merlin's crystal ball I would force you to take one." He glared at me.

"James, I promise. You can trust me."

"And…and you won't _blame _anyone for _anything… _Or think of anyone any differently?" The glare disappeared from his face. His eyes glowed with a pleading sadness, searching my face with orbs filled with an unsure hope.

"I promise. Just… what is it, James?"

He took in a deep breath and looked up in the sky, looking like he wished the moon would just take him up there.

"Remus…he… he's a…"

"James…" I put my hand on his shoulder. He refused to look at me. I slid my hand from his shoulder to his face and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at me. I felt him shiver. "Tell me. Please."

"…werewolf." He shut his eyes tightly, as if I would scream out in hysterics.

"That's why he looked so pale… and it's a full moon… poor Remus."

James opened one eye and glanced at me.

"I can't even imagine the pain he must be experiencing… and the guilt." I looked at James' scar again.

"Did… did Remus do _that _to you?"

"No. It wasn't Remus… it was the werewolf. He isn't Remus when he's the werewolf… you can't blame him for anything that happens… he's such a great person… he doesn't deserve _any_ of this… you can't… he's racked with guilt… all the time… he…"

"Shhhh. James. It's okay. I understand. But… you go with him! You're putting yourself in danger being by him when he transforms, James! Are you crazy? If a werewolf bites a human, then…"

"When a werewolf bites a _human_, Lils." He looked into my eyes again, seeing if I could derive the answer from his vague phrase. It took me about a minute.

"Oh my God. You're… you and the others…"

"We're animagi, Lils. We're completely safe around Remus. We _want _to be with him. He… he can't do it alone. He needs us."

I just gaped at James. I couldn't believe any of this. James' face was filled with such sorrow… I couldn't even imagine the depths of his feelings and loyalty to Remus. He was… such a _great _friend. Remus was a lucky bloke.

"How long?"

"Pardon?"

"How long have you been… animagi?"

"We taught ourselves in third year."

"…that's really advanced magic, James."

"Yeah… it took awhile, but we finally got it down. It was worth it. We couldn't let Moony go through that alone."

"That's where your nicknames come from. Your animagi animals… what…?"

"Sirius is a dog, Pete is a rat and… I'm… I'm a stag." He blushed a bit after revealing what he was.

It was difficult to wrap my head around all of these new things. James had this whole other life. There was _way _more to him than I had previously thought.

"Another thing… James… when I saw you leaving… Sirius was holding this parchment that was blank until he said something like "I'm going to get in trouble…""

James chuckled a bit and looked up again, a grin on his face.

"That's a map, Lils. The guys and I… we made a special map. It tells you where everything in Hogwarts is, where people are at certain times."

"Everything?"

James nodded.

"It took two years to make. We found all these secret passages in the school. It was pretty brilliant. We use it mostly to help us sneak Remus out."

I was completely gobsmacked.

"To reveal the map, we say 'I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." And when we want it to disappear again, we say "Mischief Managed.""

"James… that's… that's _brilliant._"

"You think?" James gave me a cocky grin. _I had just inflated his ego. Perfect._ But that grin made butterflies that I had no idea lodged in my stomach flutter about maniacally. _Cut it out. That tickles._

"Lily…" James said… his voice was bit husky. I felt one of his arms draw me closer. Our faces were inches away from each other. Our breaths mingled. _This seems familiar. _

I could smell forest and cinnamon.

James looked at me uncertainly, leaning his head in a bit, then gazing at my eyes, down at my lips, then back at my eyes, seeking permission. _Permission for what? Would I grant it?_

He leaned his face closer and it hit me._ He's going to kiss me._

James licked his lips… but he still had this unsure look on his face, and his eyes displayed a look of… _fear? _Was he afraid he was going to upset me?

This whole time I remained motionless. Not leaning forward, not pulling back. Leading him on, and yet making him rethink.

He exhaled, a breath that sounded like resolve, and he decided to go for it. He leaned in the rest of the way, but just before his lips touched mine…

"'EY! YOU THERE!"

_Filch._

His lantern shined into our faces almost blinding us. Both James' and my hands raised up to block the offending light from our eyes.

"GET OUT. RIGHT NOW! HEAD STUDENTS… TAKING YOUR LACK OF CURFEW FOR GRANTED! NOT WHILE I'M AROUND. FOLLOW ME. OUT OUT OUT! GET A MOVE ON!"

James and I swam to the edge of the lake. His hands placed themselves on the shore and he lifted himself out. I couldn't help but notice his arms tense with effort as he hoisted himself out. I followed him. He held out his hand for me to grasp and he helped me stand. We silently trudged a few meters behind a marching Filch holding out his lantern. Mrs. Norris, tail sticking straight up in the air, marched behind him. You could see the cockiness she emitted. Bitch.

"I'm bringin' ya to Professor McGonagall. She'll give ya the punishment ya deserve." Filch chuckled darkly. "Won't she, my pet? Yes, she will." Crazy old bat. Talking to his cat like she's his wife or something. One lightbulb short of the genius tree. James and I glanced at each other with wry grins. We had to stifle laughter. James grabbed my hand as we came to Professor McGonagall's chambers. I didn't pull it away.

Filch knocked on the door loudly. It took a few minutes, but a very annoyed and disheveled looking McGonagall answered the door.

"Argus. What is the meaning of this? Do you have _any _idea what time… Potter! Evans! Why in Merlin's beard are you sopping wet?"

"Professor, I found 'em swimmin' in the lake. Hooligans. Have no respect for curfew."

"Potter? Evans? Is this true?"

"Yes," we mumbled at the same time.

McGonagall sighed in exasperation and rubbed one of her eyes.

"I expect much better from you. Especially as Head students! Well… I have to give you both detention. I'll give you more details in the morning. But for now, go to sleep."

Filch was talking to Mrs. Norris again.

"You clever kitty. So smart. Always find the troublemakers. They can't ever evade your sharp and observant eyes, can they, Love? No…"

McGonagall glanced at Filch with disgust.

"Argus… make sure Potter and Evans return to their dorms… and then… you should…probably take up knitting. Or cooking. Or bathing blast-ended skrewts. Something…" She nodded curtly, looked around uncertainly then bid us goodnight and shut the door.

Filch led us to our dorms and watched us as we climbed through the portrait hole.

James turned on the light. I squinted a bit until my eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

"Well. Tonight was fun, Evans. I hope our second date ends better." He winked and smirked at me, then turned around to head towards his room.

_Wait. What date? Did I miss something? _ I stayed put where I was, confused.

"_Tonight was fun, Evans…"_

Did I think the same…? It _was _kind of fun. A huge adrenaline rush being out after hours, breaking rules, Potter holding me… leaning his face closer…

I shook my head. Enough of _that._

The fact that I had detention reentered my brain.

_Bloody buggering shit. Detention with Potter. Perfect way to enjoy a weekend._

* * *

Hey everyone,

I really hope you are enjoying this fic, because I am having a lot of fun writing it.

I'm really sad though, because I have to go on a hiatus pretty much until the school year ends. Like I've stated, I have a lot of projects, final tests and school work to attend to. Hopefully, I'll be able to update sooner than I think, but it's not looking good with my schedule.

Lots of Love!

Heracyn

Aka Lily-Salvatore-Cullen


	4. Step 4: Endure Detention With a Git

Saturday morning found me in the Great Hall eating breakfast with Alice and Frank, as usual. I was not in a very good mood, as McGonagall had just talked with Potter and me about our looming detention… which would consist of manually (as in _without_ magic) peeling off old labels on potion bottles and replacing them with new ones that Potter and I would make. This would all be served in the dungeons with Slughorn. _Slughorn._ I mean, seriously? Not that he was that bad, I was his favorite student, after all, but having a teacher adoring you gets tiring after the first week or so. I'm not even joking.

All I knew is that this whole pasting-labels-on-bottles-without-magic thing would very much annoy me. But I suppose it could be worse. Wait, it was. Because I had to serve detention with the King of Detentions himself. Perfect. It was going to be awkward… that's for sure, because the bloody git had tried to _kiss _me and I almost allowed it! I think I deserve some punishment. Potter and I are just friends. The butterflies that decided to exit their chrysalises last night were long on their way to migrating to Mexico… I hope. Silly butterflies. I'll tear their wings off next time they decide to show their little caterpillar faces ever again when Potter is less than 4 inches away from my face… NO. I wouldn't even let that happen ever again. That settles it. From now on, avoid Potter. Not hard… we only _work _together and _live_ together…

"Lily? Why are you glaring at your scrambled eggs? What did those poor little almost-chickens ever do to you?" Frank asked me, breaking me away from my thoughts.

"Eh? Oh… nothing. They… they didn't do anything, Frank. In fact, I'm quite enjoying them. Fluffy. Yellow. Hint of Parmesan cheese. The house elves outdid themselves this morning with these eggs." I laughed nervously.

"You haven't even eaten anything yet, Lily. Not even your bacon, and you _love _bacon." Alice informed me. "Is there something upsetting you? You were really glaring… it was kind of scary…"

"Nothing big, Alice… just upset that Potter got me into a detention."

"Yeah. You've never had a detention before. This should be interesting."

"Thanks for that grim reminder, Frank. My perfect record. Ruined in a span of a few hours because I had to bloody follow bloody Potter into…" I stopped there. I hadn't revealed Potter's and my escapade to Alice and Frank.

"Followed him? Where?" Stupid, prying, noticing-my-slip ups Alice.

"…Nothing. I followed him into his room… and er, we had an argument that woke a few people up. That's why we have detention. Never going to yell at each other again. That's for sure." I smiled, in such a way that I hoped they believed me. Then I began to eat my eggs.

They must've believed me because no more questions were asked on the matter. I was relieved. I was never going to reveal anything to anyone about last night. Hopefully, Potter would give me the same thoughtfulness. Stupid prat was probably bragging to his friends about last night's dip and probably pretending he _did_ manage to snog me. Boys always over-exaggerate those kinds of details. It's ingrained in them to do so. A girl could so much as _look _at one, and the boy would be all, "Oi, she has the HOTS for me, mate, did you see that?" And nudge the closest bloke to them unfortunate enough to be by them. Yeah. That was about it.

I glanced over at James, sitting with the Marauders. He was laughing at something Sirius had said… no… done. Now that I looked at Sirius, he had a spoon lodged in his nose, two sticking out of his ears, and an apple stuffed into his mouth. _Bloody hell he was an idiot._ The girls around them seemed to be amused. I found the entire performance revolting. James looked away from Sirius and then at me. I quickly averted my glance. _Never let Potter catch you looking in his direction. It will only fatten his ego like a flobberworm in a lettuce patch._

I continued to munch on my eggs and bacon. I grabbed a slice of toast from the middle of the table.

"Alice, can you pass the marmalade?"

"Sure, Lily. Here."

"Thanks."

I began spreading the marmalade on my toast when I chanced a look at Potter again. What I saw made me drop my knife, _and _the marmalade jar in my other hand.

"Lily? Lily?! What's wrong?" Alice asked me frantically.

I felt my mouth drop. It was like my chin hit the table. I barely registered the marmalade jar roll of the table and shatter on the ground by my seat. I didn't notice anything. Nothing except the revolting scene I saw before me.

Vanessa Lindstrom, a blue-eyed, white-blonde haired girl who wore way too much make-up, notorious for being somewhat of a slut had decided to _straddle _James' lap and was busy nibbling his ear. She moved his hands so they were cupping her behind. James leaned his face away and looked up at Vanessa who tried to lean down and full-on snog him. I had lost my appetite. This was disgusting. _Bloody prick of a man-whore._

But to my surprise, James frowned and pushed her off his lap rather quickly. She didn't fall on her ass, sadly, but stumbled a bit with a look of utmost shock on her face. Then she glared at James, and I saw her saying something to him, intending to insult and offend him, but he just laughed, looking like he could give less than a poo on a porcelain plate. Then he put on a serious expression and said something calmly to her, then he condescendingly shoed her away from himself. She stamped her foot, turned on her heel, and walked out of the Hall. I smiled. Then, I watched as Sirius gawked at James, saw James wink and jerk his head towards where she had exited, and then Sirius stood up fast and followed out the door. Sirius Black. Man-slut of Hogwarts. Way to be. Way. To. Be.

James then ruffled his hair nervously and glanced in my direction with a look of shame in his eyes. I gave him a small smile and saw him exhale and grin back at me. Was I mad at him? Quite the contrary. I was _proud _of him. The James I used to know would have taken full snog advantage of the fact that a girl was straddling him. The fact that he had been disgusted and had full out rejected her made me happy. Why did it make me happy? Why had it made me so angry to begin with? I had no feelings for Potter. He could snog any girl he wanted to and I could give a blast ended skrewt's blasted end. That thought stirred up something in my stomach. It felt as if a stone had been dropped down my throat and landed in it. No. The thought of Potter snogging someone upset me. But why in Merlin's dirty underpants _did it_ upset me? It couldn't be that I…

"Lils? You're glaring at your bacon now."

I looked at Frank, and then at Alice. I pushed away my plate.

"Why are you so mad at animal byproducts, this morning?" Frank asked.

"I'm done eating, guys. What do you say to a game of Exploding Snap? We can play in the Head's common room…"

"OOO. YES! I'M IN!" Good old Frank. He loved the Head's common room. Something about the sofa being much more comfortable. Silly wanker.

"Sure. Just let me finish my muffin. They're blueberry this morning. You know I can't resist blueberry." Alice gave me a smug grin, finished her muffin, then grabbed two more for on-the-go. How I loved my friends.

We walked past Potter's table. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and watched as his head turned in regards to where I was. It followed me until I could no longer see him. Even then I'm sure it was still following me. A butterfly that forgot to migrate flew around my stomach. _Go to Mexico._

"Why would I go to Mexico, Lily?"

I squealed. _Had the bloody butterfly just answered me?!_

"Lils." Oh. It was Alice. I hadn't realized I said that last part out loud.

"Yeah?"

"What about Mexico?"

"Nothing. They speak Spanish there. Hola." I grinned at her.

"Erm… Hola."

We got to the Head's dorms and we all went in. I went to my room to grab my Exploding Snap and brought it back out to a nice polished oak table by a window. It was sunny out today, and luckily the temperature had dropped so that it was a nice, comfortable 72 degrees. I opened the window to let a breeze in. Very refreshing.

Alice, Frank and I spent the whole day together, playing Exploding Snap, talking, and going outside to sit around the lake like other students.

Before I knew it, it was fifteen minutes to nine. Nine o'clock was the time that Potter and I had to report to the dungeons. I groaned.

"Urg. I have to go now, guys. I have to be in the dungeons by nine."

Frank stood up and stretched, his back popping a bit. Alice stood up next to him and he massaged her shoulders a bit.

"Oooo… Frank. That feels really good." She faced him and smiled and he smiled back. Then they both looked at me.

"Well…make the best of it, Lils. We'll see you tomorrow?" Alice told me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah. I'll meet you guys at breakfast again. We should do our Astronomy homework together."

"Definitely." Frank added. "We'll see you tomorrow, Lily."

They grabbed each other's hands and began to walk towards the portrait hole just as Potter climbed in.

"Hello, Potter!" Alice chirped.

"Prewitt. How are you this fine evening?" James flashed her a grin.

"Spectacular. Just spectacular." Alice gave him a crooked smile.

"Longbottom! It's been awhile since we've last chatted. We need to catch up. We have no classes together."

"I agree, Potter. We'll find some time to catch up." They gave each other a man-hug. Oh, bugger.

"Alright then, take care you two." He clapped Frank on the back and gave Alice a light punch on her shoulder.

"We'll talk to you later, Potter." And with that, they left.

James turned back around to face me.

"Lily… er, are you ready to head down to ultimate fun?" He smirked.

"I can hardly call it that, James. But whatever. Yeah."

I walked over to him and we both crawled out of the portrait hole. _Here goes._

We began walking down the hall, side-by-side. My hand grazed James'.

"Oh… sorry, James." I stuttered, moving to my other side a bit.

"It's alright, Evans, if you wanted to hold my hand, you could've just told me." He said, waggling his eyebrows a bit.

"Last thing on my mind, Potter."

"Oh, really? Well, I think last night begs to differ."

"What about last night, Potter?" I asked, challenging him to bring it up.

"…Well…you… you know… in the lake…?"

"Yeah? The lake?" I pursed my lips and stared at him. He stared back at me, mouth opening and closing like a fish multiple times.

"…I…come _on, _Evans." He blushed a bit.

"Potter, I wouldn't _like_ to remember last night. As that is the night you got me into my first detention _ever_ resulting in the permanent scarring of my perfect record here at school."

"Geez, Evans, it's like this is the end of the world for you."

"Potter! My record is completely trashed!"

"Because of _one_ detention?"

"Yes!"

"Seriously… you're… wait a minute. It's _my _fault that you got a detention?" He glared at me. "_You _are the one who decided to follow _me _out, Evans. That was entirely your decision. Did I force you to follow me? No, I didn't. So how dare you take it upon your prissy little self to blame me for that!"

"I do blame you, Potter, because you were keeping secrets from me and behaving in ways that the Head Boy, of all people, James, the _Head Boy of Hogwarts_, should NOT be!"

"Oh, so you expect me to just come to you and reveal everything about myself to you, Evans?! Well pardon me if I'm not completely open to or trust you!"

"Well…!" I stopped. _He didn't trust me?_

We were both panting really hard as we reached the staircases leading us to the dungeons.

We descended the stairs, the air thick with our discomfort and anger towards each other. We stopped outside Slughorn's classroom. James turned to me, exasperated.

"Look," he said, licking his lips, "I don't give a bloody rat's ass if you blame me. All I need to tell you is that no, you don't know everything about me. So stop pretending you do, or thinking you are _ever _going to know everything about me. 'Cause you aren't. So you are going to have to deal with it."

"Excuse me for caring, Potter. You just reinforced everything I ever knew about you anyway, you arrogant prick." James glared at me.

"Oh, we're back to name-calling, are we? Real mature, Evans, real mature. You're not acting so Head-Girly yourself right now, filthy hypocrite."

"Who's the hypocrite now?! You just called me a filthy hypocrite, bloody toe rag!"

"Well, you started it, you bitchy carrot top!!"

"_Say that again, Potter." _I _hated, _absolutely _loathed _when I was teased because of my hair color. And he knew that, too.

"I called you a bitchy carrot top." James looked smugly at me.

"You, Potter," I seethed, "Will see no end to pain tonight."

"Oo. I'm trembling in my trousers, Evans. Whatcha gonna do? Whip me with your carrot roots?" He brought his fingers mockingly to his teeth and trembled.

"POTTER! YOU ARE _SO_ DEAD!" And with that, I charged at him, completely forgetting that I was a witch and could have hexed him. Instead, I dove at him, catching him around the waist and knocking us both to the ground. I sat on top of him smacking his chest, my thighs straddling his torso. He grunted on impact and moaned in pain as I hit him. Then, he deemed that I had done enough hitting him, rolled us over so he was now on top of me, pinned my arms to my sides and glared at me, breathing hard.

"EVANS. YOU CAN STOP _THAT _NOW!" and he pushed off of me and stood up, straightening his robes. I wasn't done yet. I clumsily got to my feet and went towards him again. He was ready though, because he turned around, grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall. His face was less than 4 inches away. _Damnit I failed at my own vows._

We were both breathing hard. Once again, he had my arms pinned to my sides and he was leaning over me. I could hear him breathing, and his Adam's apple was bobbing up and down every time he swallowed. Where his hands were touching me scorched my skin. His eyes pierced into mine, and mine returned the favor. It felt like a jousting match with eyes. Hazel versus Emerald. Neither of us backed down.

"I told you to _cut it out_, Evans. I'm bored of this. Leave me alone. You said _I _was being immature? Look at you. A bloody five year old, Evans." As he let go of me, his hands put a little more pressure on my arms and he pushed himself back, still glaring at me. He turned away from me once more. I stayed against the wall, basking in my own anger, too livid to move. I stood there, breathing deeply. I could feel that my face was flushed, with my complexion, I probably resembled a tomato. An incredibly angry tomato.

I looked up from the floor, and at James, who was on the other side of the hall, leaning sideways on the wall, with his head against it. He looked extremely angry. His eyes were glassy, and he kept running his hand through his hair, lifting his face off the wall, and then hitting it back on the wall. I heard him exhale loudly. I bit my lip. I had been immature. James was right. I had acted like a complete bitch. I didn't have a right to know everything about him. It was up to him whether or not he wanted to talk to me about certain things. Guilt crawled over my skin. I wanted to apologize, but my stubborn self wouldn't allow me to. Instead, I glanced back at the floor. There was a crack running past my toes. The floor mirrored my heart. I felt like a crack had formed in it. Only reconciling with James would provide any cement to fix it. _Lily, stop being so stubborn. It's your fault. Go apologize. James is your friend. He didn't deserve any of that._ I sighed. Then walked over to James.

I reached out and gently placed my hand on his shoulder. He jumped, and whipped around so he was facing me, and his back pressed against the wall. I stepped closer to him, our bodies were almost touching. I could feel the heat emanating from his body. I looked up at his face, and saw that his eyes had lost their glassiness and were being replaced with wariness.

"…James… I…" I looked down at his feet.

"No…Lils… it was…"

"Mr. Potter! Ms. Evans! I apologize for being late for your detentions, heh heh, I got caught up at dinner in a fascinating conversation with Professor Dumbledore!"

Slughorn had come into the hall, with a box filled with parchment, quills and an ink well. I stepped away from James and shuffled a few feet away. I refused to look at James, but I felt his eyes boring into me.

"Come, come! Follow me! We have lots to do yet, tonight! Can't stop 'til the job is finished!" Slughorn was so jolly. He reminded me of a walrus. A content walrus floating on his back in the ocean munching on kelp or something. I followed close behind him, and walked into the classroom. James walked in a few seconds later, very slowly.

". You'll sit here, and Mr. Potter, you sit right next to her. I only have one inkwell, so you two have to share it. Here are your quills… here's some parchment…" he whipped out his wand.

"_Accio _potion bottles!" I heard a bunch of clinking and clanking, and a swarm of empty bottles with ratty labels came flying into the room and lined themselves up on a table that Slughorn had set up in front of James' and my desks. The flock had to be over 300 bottles. _Holy buggering shit._ I almost cried.

"Alright. Your jobs, according to Professor McGonagall, are to peel these labels off, write new labels, and put them on the bottles so they are aligned correctly. No magic. Write neatly, and spell everything correctly. I've put a charm on the room that disables your wands. I'll be back in a few hours to check your progress."

Slughorn gave us both a walrusy, mustache filled grin, and waddled out of the classroom, magicking the door closed. I heard a lock.

James and I sat still for a few minutes, not looking at each other. I observed the army of bottles standing before us. All of them had yellowing, peeling labels that had faded words on them. I could barely make out the titles of some of them. I sighed, pushed up my sleeves, and reached for a bottle.

I took a small piece of parchment, wrote down the name of the potion and then began to peel off the label, which proved more difficult than I would have thought. A sticky residue remained on the bottle, and the paper came off in little sections. I was easily frustrated and my nail had already begun to bend backwards a bit. I glanced over at James. He didn't even have long fingernails, so his label peeling was going even worse than mine.

"Shit. I forgot what this potion was."

"Let me see." James handed the bottle to me, looking at me with a doubtful expression. I waved the bottle under my nose and took a whiff. I almost threw up in my mouth, but I recognized the odor as tadpole intestines.

"Tadpole intestines." I handed the bottle back to James, closing my eyes tightly and sticking my tongue out every few seconds. I heard James chuckle. I opened my eyes and looked at his face, which was staring incredulously back at me.

"Wow, Lily. You really are the potions prodigy. No wonder Slughorn thinks so highly of you."

"Thanks, James. But just because I have a talent at recognizing the odor of baby frog innards doesn't mean I'm a fantastic student."

"Lily… you don't give yourself enough credit." He shook his head, giving up, and scratched down the name of the ingredient and went back to trying to peel off the label. I went back to my own bottle, which I had successfully taken the label off of, and put my new label on the bottle. I set the bottle in front of me and admired my work. Only 298 more to go.

Before I reached for another bottle, I looked over at James who still hadn't gotten the label off of his bottle and was slowly growing red in the face.

"James… er, how about I peel the labels off of the bottles, tell you the name of the ingredient, and you can write it down and paste the new label on?"

James looked up at me gratefully, and handed me the bottle. I grinned back and took the bottle from him, our fingers passing over one another's.

"Thanks, Lils… I'm physically incapable of peeling labels off, due to the fact that I lack nails."

"It's really okay, James. I just couldn't stand watching you struggle like that." I giggled.

"Struggling? Naw… I…"

I gave him a look, and then proceeded to imitate him working at the label.

"Okay! Okay Lils! I was struggling!"

"What was that, James? You admit to a failure?" I cupped my ear with my hand and leaned towards him.

"YES! I, JAMES POTTER, FAIL AT PEELING LABELS OFF OF BOTTLES, AND LILY EVANS SUCCEEDS WITH FLYING SNITCHES."

"Thank you, James." He nudged me with his elbow.

We began to work with our newly found and highly proficient system of labor. During the entire time, I spotted James stealing a glance towards me. The only reason I knew this, of course, was because I was stealing glances at him as well. He looked so adorable with his tongue sticking out a bit, slightly curled over the side of his upper lip as he wrote down the names I told him.

We looked at each other at the same time. We stayed with our eyes locked for a few seconds, before James gave me a smirk and went back to his work. I continued to look at him for a few seconds longer before I continued peeling off the labels.

Slughorn came in after about 4 hours, in which we had completed about three quarters of the bottles. Thanks to a steady working rate of about 2 bottles a minute, we would be done in about another hour.

"Good work, Evans, Potter! You two certainly got to work! Ingenious method, ingenious. You two are so clever."

"Er, thanks Professor." James mumbled.

I yawned.

"Excuse me, Professor, but what time is it?"

Slughorn took out his pocket watch.

"Why! Great Merlin! It's a little after one o'clock in the morning! Tell you what, since you two have been working so hard, I'll let you get going. You need the sleep anyway. Story has it you two were out late last night anyway… am I right?"

James and I glanced at each other, blushing.

"It's not like it sounds, Professor…" James began.

"Oh, m'boy, you don't have to tell me anything. I understand _completely." _He gave James a wink and a nudge. James' eyes opened wide.

"Well done, Evans. Great pick."

"Professor! I…" but Slughorn interrupted me.

"Go on, now, Ms. Evans. Mr. Potter. I'll handle the rest of these." He waved his wand, and within milliseconds the remaining bottles had new, fresh labels on them, and flew to the cupboard. I heard James hmph and watched as he crossed his arms with a pouty look on his face. I could completely relate. Four hours of work reduced to 4 milliseconds. I loved magic.

"Have a good night, you two. Get a good night's rest. I expect you have both finished the foot long essay on the Sleeping Draft?"

James and I quickly looked at each other, eyes wide as tea saucers and mouthed "Essay?" to each other.

"…Er… of course, Professor, I mean, that was the first thing I did after classes." James prompted.

"Good show, Mr. Potter! I always liked you. Ms. Evans? Have you completed the essay?"

"…uh…"

"You know her, Professor. Lives and breathes Potions essays…"

"Oh, Mr. Potter. I know. Ms. Evans, I'm joking with you. I know you'll have the most intriguing and enlightening essay for me. In fact, I've already put an 'O' in that grade slot."

"…Professor?"

"Now, get a move on you two. Don't let ol' Sluggy hold you back. Oozing. Not a good habit. Good night now."

"Goodnight, Professor," James and I said together. Then we both quickly walked out.

As we exited the door, I noticed James stop. I stopped and turned around.

"James?"

"Lily… I'm sorry."

"…"

James started walking again.

_What did he apologize for? Earlier tonight? Getting us into detention? Trying to kiss me last night? The last one he really had no need at all to apologize for… I mean… I… LILY MAE EVANS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WE WILL NOT THINK THOSE THOUGHTS ANYMORE._

Things were jumbled in my head. Feelings… thoughts… more feelings… I had to get a grip on myself.

James had achieved quite a distance in front of me, and I jogged a bit to catch up.

"Damn, I'm tired. Two nights in a row up until past midnight… not good for a bloke."

"Yeah. I could collapse on the floor right now and just completely pass out."

"Please don't. Then I'd be obliged to carry you the rest of the way to the dorms."

"Whatever. As if that isn't your _dream_ to carry me bridal style, Potter."

Potter didn't retaliate.

The rest of the way we walked in silence, reaching the portrait hole.

"Newt Buckets," James stated.

"Gross." Replied the portrait as is swung open.

Both James and I crawled through, and stood still as we exited the portrait hole into the common room. We looked at each other, towards the bathroom, then back at each other. Something changed in the air. There was an aura of competition between us now.

"…"

"…"

Both James and I bolted towards the bathroom, shoving at each other. I reached the door, but James grasped me around the waist and swung me around, placing me behind him and he reached towards the door knob. I grabbed the back of his shirt by the collar and pulled him back. He made mock choking noises as he laughed. I pulled extra hard, swinging him behind me as I power-walked towards the door again.

"Ah, no you don't Lily!" I squealed and laughed as James hoisted me up and over his shoulder as he walked all the way back to the portrait hole and put me down, having me land on my butt. I quickly grabbed his leg and wrapped myself around it as he tried to walk towards the bathroom again.

"LILY! I'm going to trip!" James laughed.

"I'm not letting go!"

"Yes… you… are…" James stated every word as he tried to drag the leg with me on it forward.

"Nope." I wrapped my legs around his foot as well.

"AH, LILY!" James fell over.

"BAHA!" I got up quickly and started running towards the bathroom door. James, Quidditch fit that he is and mad reflexes that he has, got up extremely fast and caught up with me in no time, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me to his side. I shrieked, and wriggled away and began running away from him. He eagerly took up the chase and pursued me.

I ran to the other side of the couch, and James was ready to receive me on either side. I dodged to the right, and James shuffled to his left. Then I shuffled left and James pivoted to his right. I faked a left and began running towards my right, but James saw it coming and leapt over the couch and grabbed me around my waist, pulling us down onto the couch.

I plopped right into his lap, and he brought his arms down to move my legs onto the couch, so I was sitting on his lap with my legs outstretched to the side. His arms were around my waist, and we were both laughing hysterically, and gulping in as much oxygen as we could. My arms, without me thinking, wrapped around his neck. He put his forehead on my shoulder and we continued laughing.

He looked up into my face, and instantly the laughter died down and ceased. James gulped, and I licked my lips. His head reached for my head, his nose grazing mine. I watched as he closed his eyes and leaned in.

I recognized the position we were in, smiled, and pushed him down so he landed on his back on the couch. Giggling, I ran towards the bathroom, got in, and shut and locked the door. I faintly heard James shout playfully, "You cheating tease, Evans!"

I leaned on the counter, staring at myself in the mirror.

I had panicked. That's what I had done. There was no other excuse as to why I ran away. _What is wrong with me? Bloody hell, I almost let him kiss me again! I keep leading James on… don't I? I'm leading him on._

"You're leading him on, Lily." I whispered to myself. That didn't convince me. There was something else. I knew it. But I didn't want to acknowledge it.

I undressed myself, grabbed a towel from the cupboard, and stepped into the shower. The water trickled down my body and instantly relaxed me. I reveled in the calming artificial rain and cleaned myself up. After I had washed my hair and body, I just stood under the hot shower, gradually decreasing the temperature until I was standing in semi-cold streams. I turned so my face was towards the jets, and let the water wash over my face.

Turning the faucet off, I stepped out of the shower, wrapped my towel around myself, and deciding to let James shower before I finished my bedtime routine, left the bathroom.

As I opened the door, I watched James' head shoot up. He was still sitting on the couch. As his eyes met mine as I exited the bathroom, I watched him gulp several times in succession as his eyes travelled down my body, then back up to my eyes. I blushed. James' mouth was slightly ajar.

"Er…"

"Um, you can get in now, James. I'll… I'll finish… I'll brush my teeth when you're done and stuff…" James only nodded, mouth still open to catch flies. I shook my head, and quickly went into my bedroom, closing the door quickly. I fell back against the door, exhaling. It was about a half minute before I heard James get up and close the bathroom door. I dried off as I heard the shower start. Putting on my camisole and flannel shorts, I wrapped the towel around my head to dry my hair and went back into the common room to wait for James to finish showering. _James showering. Droplets of steamy water running the length of his body, starting at his shoulder, running down those abdominal muscles and past his bellybutton… _

"LILY!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I jumped as I heard James yell. The shower had been turned off. I swallowed.

"LILY! YOU TOOK THE LAST TOWEL!"

Uh oh.

"Uh… There are more towels in my closet… I'll… I'll go get one for you!" I shouted back.

I got up quickly and ran into my room, my towel falling off my head. I opened my closet door, found the stack of spare towels, and ran to the bathroom… where I froze, clutching the towel to my chest.

James was in there. James was in there _naked._ The glass of the shower was frosted… but…

I swallowed again, raising my fist to knock. I hesitantly hit the door twice.

"Yeah. Come in, Evans."

I walked in, holding the towel outstretched in front of me.

"H... Here, J-James."

The door opened slightly, and a tan and muscular arm appeared from behind it, hand grasping at air and searching for the towel. I held it to his hand so he could clutch it. Once he grabbed it, he pulled it back into the shower.

"Thanks, Lily."

I could see his outline in the frosted glass, and a lump formed in my throat. _Oh… my…_

The door slid all the way open, and I was gifted with a full sight of a very wet James with his towel hung _low_ around his waist… low enough that I could see the V angling down from his hips. He stepped out of the shower, and I backed up a bit. His hands searched the counter for his rectangular glasses. When he found them, he slipped them on his face and rubbed his eyes from behind them.

James faced the mirror and grabbed his toothbrush. He looked at me from the mirror, and seeing my mouth open and eyes bulging out of their sockets, had the gall to ask me,

"Like what you see, Evans?"

I came to my senses, and frowning, slapped James' arm.

"Ow!"

"You're bloody insufferable, James." I grabbed my toothbrush and got it ready.

Sharing a bathroom with the opposite sex should be saved _at all costs _for people who have chosen to marry and thus undergo tolerating each other in such confined and steamy spaces. They should at least put it in the vows so people know what they're getting themselves into. _And do you, so-and-so, take this man, we-don't-care-about-names-right-now, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to share your life with… in sickness and in health… to share a bathroom with… Wait. I object. No bathroom sharing here. No Merlin. No Merlin's giant sea turtle's socks._

"Cuh ou fass meh a taw?"

I spit out my toothpaste.

"Sorry, James, I didn't take _Dentist Conversation 101._"

James spit. "I said, 'Could you pass me a towel?' And what's a dentist?"

I sighed. "A dentist is someone in the Muggle world who is paid to professionally clean your teeth."

"Psh. I clean my own teeth just fine!"

"Well, they use scrapers, drills, and hooked instruments to clean between your teeth, your gums, because people can't clean their teeth that well every time…"

James looked horrified.

"That's like medieval torture. Worse."

"It's really not all that bad, James."

"Whatever you say, Lils."

We then continued to brush our teeth. After a few more minutes, I finished first. I spit out my toothpaste, brushed my tongue, and rinsed my toothbrush under the running water. Drying my mouth off with my hand towel, I glanced at James, who was still brushing.

"Good night, James."

"Guh igh 'ily. Ahlu ou."

"What was that last part, James?"

James spit once more. "I said, 'Good night Lily, er… Thank you… for getting me a towel, that is." James blushed and looked away from me rather quickly.

"Uh… you're welcome, James. See you tomorrow… in the morning…"

James lifted his hand and saluted. I smiled a bit and left the bathroom.

_What a long night._

Hey everyone!

I found some free time in my busy schedule, and decided to write up the fourth chappie! I hope you all enjoy it! I was so happy to be writing again! Three more weeks of school… and then summer! And summer means more time for my story! And more time for my story means more frequent postings which all add up to happy readers! R&R if you like!

Love,

Heracyn


	5. Step 5: Witness a Valiant Rescue

_He had said "I love you." With toothpaste in his mouth! He had said it! And then covered it up! What the bloody hell… _

I sat up very quickly in my bed, breathing heavily. I had been half asleep for the past… I looked at the clock. 6:50. Half hour. I had woken up at 6:20, groaned, and fell back into an almost-sleep. Random thoughts were pouring in and out of my head… and that last one had been the one that jolted me awake.

_James… last night when I had said 'good night…' he had told me he loved me, and then covered it up… no wonder he looked away so fast…_

Holy buggering shit. I was SO sure he had said that… I guess while I wasn't thinking about it, it became clear and obvious. Yeah. He had said "I love you." I was one-hundred percent positive. Should I call him on it? _NO… it would only embarrass the poor wanker… but… what if YOU told him…STOP. I wouldn't because it's NOT TRUE… I don't…reciprocate…those feelings…_

I pressed my hand to my forehead. My legs were still under the covers, but my upper body stuck up. I glared at the clock. 6:52. Graar. I just want to sleep. One of the days I can sleep in, I am not able to bloody sleep. Typical Lily Evans.

_Well, since I'm not going to sleep anytime soon, I might as well do something with myself._ I climbed out of bed, grabbed my book, _Pride and Prejudice,_ and neglecting to don my robe, trudged out of my room with my slippers. They were green. And fuzzy. Very nice. Like my eyes… but not fuzzy.

Walking out of my room and rubbing my eyes with one hand, I walked to the couch, staring at the floor the whole time. The enchanted fire was roaring, but not emitting heat due to the weather outside. In the early fall, the fires crackled, but didn't produce heat. That way, we still had the comfort, but didn't die of heat stroke. That Dumbledore. Bloody genius, him.

I was about to sit down, when I heard a moan._ Holy shit! What was that?!_ I jumped around to face the couch, whipping out my wand and crouching into attack stance very quietly. I stared down, imagining a horrid, foul, hideous creature…

What I saw almost made me laugh out loud at myself. James, mouth open and arm draped across his face, was asleep on the couch. Why? Couldn't tell you. He had on plaid pajama pants… and that was it. Bugger._ Why does he DO this to me? It's like he knows._

I slipped my wand back into my pocket, and turned around, intending to go back into my room.

"Lily…"

I darted back around, staring right into James' face. But his eyes were still closed. I tilted my head in confusion and tip-toed back over to the couch, where I knelt by his head.

"Lil… mmmmmmmm."

He smiled.

Silly bugger was having a dream about me. How… cute?

He started to wriggle, like he was snuggling into something. His eyebrows shot up.

"Oooo…"

_James Potter, this better not be an erotic dream._

His mouth curved into a smirk, as both his arms twitched as if they were going to wrap around something. I looked around desperately. His arms were searching, and almost touching me. I grabbed the pillow on the other side and carefully lowered it into his arms. His reaction frightened me. His arms clung around the pillow and brought it to his chest so fast, I almost didn't see it. A goofy, close-mouthed grin spread across his face. I felt myself smile.

He began to stroke the pillow, and then brought it up to his face. He nuzzled it with his nose, while smiling.

"I'm going to snog you, Lily Evans."

_Bugger._

Then he brought the pillow to his face and commenced snogging the pillow. It was quite a sight, actually. James completely going at it with a pillow. Where was a camera when I needed one?

"Mmmmf. Mmmmmmf. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmf…ily."

The pillow was getting the full treatment. But I couldn't help but notice that James looked like a brilliant snogger… lucky pillow. I envied it…_STOP LILY._ _But… how about if I replace the pillow with my face? Would that be okay… NO. WAKE HIM UP LILY._

I looked down at the snogging James before me. I tentatively lifted my hand to shake his shoulder.

"Mmmf. Lily… you're fuzzy. Is that… a beard? What? _Sirius_? Why are _you…_ Oh gross… I…" and James jolted awake, sitting up just as I had, and looking around frantically. Then his gaze went down to the slightly damp pillow. His face cringed in disgust as he tossed it to the side.

"A bloody pillow. I was _snogging _a bloody… _LILY."_ His gaze widened as he focused on me, grabbing his glasses from the table by the couch. He frantically put them on, and wiped his forehead which was a bit sweaty. Snogging pillows can do that to a bloke.

"…Lily…I…how long were you…oh, _shit…_ Lils, I can explain…" He swung his legs around and pressed his back into the couch trying to get away from me. There was a slight bulge in the…er…_groin _region of his pants.

I had meanwhile stood up and backed away a few paces, just staring at him.

Angry at myself and at James for dreaming about me and making me feel things that weren't true, I began to frown, and decided to take it out on him.

"James… you don't need to say anything after that performance. You pervert." I slowly backed into my bedroom, James gaping at me apologetically the whole time.

I backed into my room and slowly closed the door.

"Lily! I'm sorr…"

_SLAM._

I pressed my back to the door and exhaled. I was more angry at myself for _wanting _to snog him. He was making me feel things for him. I couldn't help it when he was shirtless. I mean, any good-looking bloke looks loveable while he's sleeping and moaning your name...

Bloody hell this was going to make rounds awkward.

BUGGERING SODDING HELL I COULDN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

The entire week after James' pillow snog session had made us extremely awkward around each other. Every time I saw him, I frowned, because I had to get rid of these…these… feelings… and the only way I came up with was to force myself to be angry when I saw James. My body was lying to me, my heart was lying to me… bloody hormones. I _hate _being a hormonal teenager.

James made sure to steer clear of me in the halls and in class. He would glance up, blush, then look back down, not looking too long because he was afraid I would hex him into the next millennium. I _had_ threatened to after all, when I saw him sneaking peeks at me in the Great Hall. I had caught up with him outside of it after breakfast, drawing my wand.

"Potter. If I so much as _feel_ you looking at me… I swear on Merlin's mother's grave I will hex you into the next millennium."

James had been looking down the whole time, squirming uncomfortably.

"Point taken." He mumbled, then darted away from me.

I suppose I was being harsh on him… he had no control over what he dreamed about. But I couldn't help myself. I was so mad at him and at me, that the emotions just blocked out all logical thinking processes for me.

This made doing rounds incredibly infuriating for me. I tried to stay a few paces ahead of James so I wouldn't have to tolerate being next to him. He knew, too, so he purposely walked slower.

I don't know what my problem was. I kept telling myself it wasn't James' fault, but I couldn't help but being grossed out at him for dreaming about me, and at myself for the feelings it emitted. THESE FEELINGS WERE NOT TRUE. I DID NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR JAMES POTTER. Everything was a struggle in my head, and I was so confused, that the slightest disturbance sent my anger into uncontrollable overload. Whoever had the pleasure of being by me, mostly James because of rounds, had the unfortunate duty to be my scapegoat.

Whenever I wasn't by James, he was still in my head as I sorted things out. So many things… how can one person think about all of this? I needed to discover a spell that would empty my head, or get myself a pensieve, or something. It stressed me out. More than school ever could. I was stressed, I lost sleep, I was crabby, angry… a total mess. Even Alice and Frank had kept their distance. Not that I blamed them, I would want to stay away from myself, too. But I was myself. I was stuck with me. Red heads and their tempers. I tell you. B-A-D N-E-W-S.

Friday night was when I had put up with my limit. James and I were doing rounds, as usual. It was about eleven o'clock at night. All students were supposed to be in their respective dorms.

We hadn't come across anything. Not even a small distraction to draw me away from my seething thoughts. I sighed very loudly.

"…Lily." James all but whispered.

"WHAT, Potter." I shot back.

"Er… how about we… we… split up… like… I'll go this way… and you can go that way…" He was extremely hesitant and stared intently at the ground.

I glared at him.

"Fine. Go that way, then, Potter."

He turned quickly and strode down the hall until he reached a left turn. He glanced at me quickly before he rounded it and I lost sight of him.

The feeling of loneliness crept up my back, slithering its way up. I shivered, then looked around. It was incredibly dark… there were only a few torches every few meters or so. The pale yellow light shone in circles directly below the torch.

I began walking down the hall, my wand out.

Two hours passed, and I had made about 3 rounds around the castle. Not once did I run into James.

I was walking on the lower level, by the dungeons, when I heard whispering and muttering. I noticed a prominently brighter glow around a corner. I pressed myself to the wall, and slid my back across until I reached the corner. I silently raised my wand, and mouthed a mirror charm that would allow me to see who was around the corner without poking my head around. As the image cleared, I could see a group of Slytherins huddled in a group. Most of them were in my year, but there were some that looked younger. I could recognize Rodolfus Lestrange, a tall, dark man in my year, his girlfriend, Bellatrix Black, Sirius' cousin, who was slim, medium height, with cascading black hair and eyes that always shone with hatred, Severus Snape, my old best friend, hooked nose and greasy hair slicked back a bit… Crabbe, a thick, burly man with a sort of stupid expression on his face at all times, Lucius Malfoy, a white-blonde haired elitist who had a pointed face like a rat, and a shorter man, with longer, black hair and grey eyes that looked kind of like…

"So many Mudbloods have infiltrated this school. It disgusts me to even walk by them. I feel contaminated just breathing the same air as they do."

"Intolerable. Dumbledore is such a pussy when it comes to these things. You'd think a great wizard like him would be on our side. Bloody Muggle lover."

"This is why Slytherin is the elite house. All of us are Purebloods."

Snape wasn't. Bloody coward probably had a charade.

"But not every Pureblood is in Slytherin. Take Potter. He is the last of the oldest family of Purebloods."

"Potter is a blood traitor. He's barely a step above Mudbloods. Filth. That's all he is. And he's pining after that Mudblood Head Girl, Evans, which is even worse."

_This was getting out of hand. I should do something…_

"Silence. You know the Dark Lord has a plan for all those who aren't Purebloods." Bellatrix.

"That's why we've gathered tonight. He has given us more information about…"

Two pairs of large, rough hands grabbed me around my upper arms. I shrieked and began to struggle. One hand ripped my wand from my hand. I was literally lifted off the ground and brought around the corner towards the group.

"OI! Check this out, Lucius, Rodolfus. The Mudblood Head Girl was lurking just around the corner!"

"Well done, Goyle, Mulciber. Can't have that, now, can we?" Rodolfus walked up to me, stroking my face. I jerked my face away from his touch.

"Decided to pay us a little visit, now, have you, Mudblood? How considerate."

The others sniggered darkly.

I didn't answer. I looked away from his sneering face. He grabbed my face roughly and forced me to look in his direction.

"I asked you a question, Red. And being higher on the wizarding scale than you, I expect respect and an answer."

I looked away with my eyes because my head was trapped.

"Think you're better than us because you're Head Girl? That won't do much for you, now. We only answer to one other."

Goyle and Mulciber shoved me to the ground in the middle of their circle. I stood up quickly, eyes darting about for any escape. To no avail, as everyone had crowded in and filled all gaps in between bodies. The ice cold grip of fear wrapped around my neck. They all drew their wands. I looked into all of their eyes, the last pair being Severus'. I gave him a pleading look, but he didn't react. He merely sneered, then spit near me.

"Were you under the impression that you would stealthily disarm us, turn us in to Dumbledore, and thus be considered a hero of your…_species,_ Mudblood?"

"Oh, Lucius. You must use shorter and simpler vocabulary when talking to Mudbloods. Their non-magical brains can't keep up with the intelligence and superiority of us Purebloods."

"Quite right, quite right, Rodolfus. My question is, what do we do now with our dear friend? We must reward her for discovering us."

I frantically looked from one speaker to the next. I felt like I was suffocating. My lungs clenched together, trying to remind me to breathe. My throat was raw from swallowing so much.

"I say we take her to the dungeons, string her up, torture her until she bleeds from every orifice, and wait until she graciously asks us to just kill her." Bellatrix then crouched to my level and stuck her wand in my cheek.

"Mudblood, you must learn that you cannot get away with snooping around in other people's business. It's not respectable… and it won't end well for you." She stood back up, her eyes almost glowing blood red with the hatred she had towards me.

"Now, now, Bella, no need to be unusually cruel. I'm sure we can come to terms on something a little less condemnable… perhaps, we should…"

"No, dear cousin. She knows about us, now. There is no choice but to make sure she never utters a word about it. You know the Master's rules."

"Yes… but, how will we cover it up? Is there a way to make it look like an accident? A discrete, clean kill, that wouldn't target us as suspects?"

"Lucius, you're a coward. It's time we show Dumbledore that his safe little haven is under our control."

"Bella, we can't _kill_ the Head Girl…"

"WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON, REGULUS? The master would not be pleased to hear you sympathizing with Mudbloods."

"I…I'm not. I'm faithful to the Dark Lord! I have the mark to prove it! I'm just saying…killing a student would… you know… Dumbledore, he…"

"Fuck Dumbledore. You should know that compared to the Dark Lord he is but a bug."

"He's still the most powerful wizard that…"

Bellatrix struck the boy across the face. He clutched his abused cheek.

"How _dare_ you utter such blasphemy, Regulus. I'm horrified to claim any relation to you."

Bellatrix spoke in a deadly monotone.

"Now. Before we waste any more time, we shall decide what is to become of this parasitic worm."

It was then that I tuned out and began to panic. They were talking as if I wasn't even among them. They had my wand. I was at their mercy.

_James. I'm sorry. Please… where are you?_

My eyes stung with unshed tears. My thoughts centered around James. I glanced up, observing my captors. They were talking amongst each other, disagreeing, sneering, laughing. I felt like a cockroach in a kitchen… waiting to see what was in store for me after being discovered in the cutlery drawer. To them, a cockroach was probably more respectable than me…

My eyes continued to dart around the circle. All of them were preoccupied with coming up with ways to torture me.

"We could use the Sectumsempra curse Snape discovered. Multiple times. Wait until she's a bloody rag doll before using the Cruciatus…" Mulciber seemed intent on getting his point across to Lucius, who was to his left. Mulicber moved a tad closer to Lucius, explaining his idea thoroughly, leaving… I couldn't believe it. Leaving a small space. I was still on the ground, so I began to move slowly, preparing myself to go.

I counted to three silently, breathing hard in anticipation. I could almost feel the adrenaline fill my veins.

_One…_

_Two…_

_THREE!_

I scrambled on the ground quickly, crawling through that space and jumping to my feet. I began to run as I had never run before. As I expected, I hadn't gone but 10 feet before they began shouting and chasing after me shooting spells in my direction. I pumped my legs harder. There was nothing I had to lose. I reached the corner I had been hiding behind and turned sharply, continuing my life-sprint down the hall. I could see various colors of light reflected against the wall. One of them was green. A cold boulder dropped in my stomach… They had just…

I chanced a glance behind me. The entire group was behind me about 20 feet, shamelessly aiming spells my way in hopes of hitting me.

"MULCIBER! GO THAT WAY! THE CORRIDORS MEET JUST A WAYS TOWARDS THE END!"

"RIGHT! WE CAN'T LET HER GET AWAY! SHE KNOWS! SHE CAN TURN US IN! DO NOT LET HER ESCAPE!"

My lungs burned with lack of oxygen. My legs felt like jelly, but I pressed on. I had various stitches in my sides, but my only focus was fleeing. I felt each pound of my heart in my head, my pulse reaching heights it had never encountered before. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up.

Every so often I looked behind me. There were only three directly pursuing me. The others… I would meet up with later. I took in a deep gulp of air, clenched my eyes with the effort.

I turned a corner and was running close to the wall. I chanced another look behind me. From in front of me, a pair of arms grabbed me around my torso, pressing me to their body. I felt us move inside a tight compartment, and then heard a door slam. I started to scream and struggle, but a large hand covered my mouth and I heard a frantic shushing sound as strong, warm arms pulled me to their chest. I took a second to take in my surroundings… and I could smell forest and cinnamon.

_James._

I clutched his robes and buried my face into his chest. I pressed myself as close to him as I possibly could. Tears of relief started to pour from my eyes. I was shaking uncontrollably. James held me tight against him. There was no space between our bodies. His hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. We were so close… realization hit me as to how close we were… and to how I didn't mind being this close to James.

I heard footsteps echoing down the hall, still running after me. One pair kept running, but two stopped just in front of the broom cupboard James and I were in.

I felt James tense, and one arm left my back to dive into his robes.

Regulus and Mulciber began to edge closer, suspecting of the cupboard. I turned my head and could see out of a crack in the doors. Their wands were pointed directly at us. My eyes widened.

I clutched James harder and felt his arm come back around. He was holding his wand. He moved me more to his side with one arm, still clutching me close and pointed his wand back at the two getting so much closer. James gulped loudly and took a deep breath. With a swish, I suddenly heard a female shriek and running footsteps. Mulciber and Regulus whipped their heads toward the sound, and began to run after it.

James had… tricked them into thinking that it was _me…_

As they ran after the noise, I heard a stick-like object bounce to the ground. The footsteps dimmed, and suddenly there was silence… which was almost worse than no noise at all.

James returned his wand to his pocket and put it back in its original position, hugging me close. I buried my face back into his muscular chest. I inhaled his scent, and it calmed me somewhat.

We stayed silent, just hugging each other closely. Staying perfectly still. Waiting to see whether or not they would return… and to prolong this moment of closeness.

I don't know how much time went by.

I felt James nuzzle the top of my head.

"Lily."

I didn't answer, but slowly brought my head up to gaze into his hazel eyes I loved so much. They were filled with fear, worry… and anger.

"How do you feel? Are you okay? Did they do anything to you…?"

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. My voice would be shaky, and wet from the tears that resided in my throat. I buried my face in his robes once more. He placed his hand on the side of my head and gently pressed it to his chest. I could feel him trembling… out of fear… or trying to repress any irrational action, I wasn't sure.

He spoke again, whispering.

"You have to promise me you will not tell Sirius about this. That was his brother… on the left… Regulus."

It dawned on me that the boy with the black hair and grey eyes had looked like Sirius. I looked into James' face incredulously.

"That… that was Regulus Black?"

James nodded.

"You can't tell Sirius a word about this. It'll only make him angry… and when Sirius is angry… especially when it concerns his brother… he's… uncontrollable… inconsolable… He doesn't think… he'll put himself in danger. Plus… I think…" he stopped.

"What, James?"

"I think he still has hope for his brother… to join our side, to rebuke his family like Sirius did… I don't want to destroy that little hope he has left. He's…still holding out for Regulus. He just doesn't admit it. But I can see it."

We were silent for a few minutes.

"I…I promise, James…and…" I gulped. "Th-thank you… if you hadn't…"

"Don't say it, Lily." His face had a pained expression on it, as if he was trying not to imagine the consequences had he not been there. He refused to look at me. His eyes were glassy, and he swallowed every so often. He stared out ahead of him.

After awhile, he seemed to compose himself and he looked into my eyes. He attempted a ghost of a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"It was mostly you."

"…Wh…what?"

"You escaped by yourself. That was… God, Lily. That was an incredibly strong thing to do… if you've _ever _doubted your placement in Gryffindor… that proves it was the Sorting Hat made the right decision."

He looked away again, but I continued to look at him. My eyes traced to contours and angles of his face, of his jaw… my eyes settled on his lips, and my stomach flipped.

"James… I…"

"We should head back to the Head's Dorms."

He let me go, taking a small step back away from me. Suddenly, it was as if I was thrown into an ice bath in the middle of the winter. He opened the cupboard door, and motioned me out, following closely behind. There was a glow on the floor. _My wand… that was what I heard dropping._ I went over and picked it up, rubbing my fingers over the familiar polished wood. James and I silently walked back to the Head's dorms, keeping an ear out for the Slytherins. We made it, thankfully, uneventfully.

We crawled through the portrait hole into the common room. No lights were on, so the fire was the only glow we saw.

I began to walk towards my room. I was exhausted… and still nervous. As I turned to look at James, I saw him glowering on the couch. He was staring intently into the fire, hands folded under his nose, touching his mouth, his elbows resting on his knees. The light of the flames licked his face, casting shadows in other places where the heat was not stroking his face. I'm not going to lie… he looked formidable.

I slowly walked over towards the couch and sat on the opposite side James was on. I stared at the side of his head, and brought my knees up to join the rest of my body on the couch.

We remained unmoving for a time, when something came over me. I started to scoot towards James, little distances at a time. When I was about two feet away from him, James brought his head up to look at me, eyes lingering on the fire a bit longer before locking with mine. I could see the confusion in his eyes as his hands lowered into his lap.

I crawled nearer, and then climbed into his lap, settling myself in between his legs and curling my knees up to my chin, so my feet were resting on the outside of his thigh. I snuggled up close to his magnificent chest and grabbed his shirt gently with one of my hands. I rested my head on his shoulder, looking into the fire.

James' arms had lifted into the air slightly as I settled, and they now hesitantly lowered, curling around me in a hug and locking in front of me. He rested the side of his head on my forehead.

I could feel his chest moving up and down steadily. His breath fanned my nose as he exhaled. With the hand curled around my back, James began to absentmindedly stroke my hair. Stroking it from the middle to the tips. It was comfortable… and I felt…secure. As if everything that had happened tonight could be conquered just by James holding me to him. As long as he didn't let go, I was safe. A thought occurred to me.

"James… how…how did you find me? How did you know where to be…?"

I looked up into his face. He looked back down, a serious expression on his face.

"I carry the Map around during rounds, Lils… I was, er… checking on you every once in awhile…and I saw that they had… surrounded you… and I… I didn't even think… I had to get to you." He looked kind of ashamed that he had been checking in on me. I brought his chin down so he was looking at me.

"I'm glad you were checking on me, James. And I'm… I'm sorry about this past week. I don't know… I've just been… I've been a mess, and I've taken a lot of it out on you, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to be treated that way at all… it wasn't even your fault…"

"I understand Lily… you were angry that I had been… that my…" I put my finger on his lips to quiet him.

"No, James. It was all me. I was being unfair to you. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

"I do, Lily. Always. I've… I've always forgiven you."

I looked questioningly up at him again.

"But… for what…?"

James looked away from me.

"Nothing. Just, just know I always forgive you… and that if you ever need me… I'll… I'll be here. For you." He looked into my eyes and I saw such passion there, that my heart stopped. I was momentarily lost in the hazel pools of warmth.

And then I realized what he was forgiving me for. All those years I had been cruel to him. He had always forgiven me for how I treated him.

I looked from one of his eyes to his other, and they flickered back and forth. My heart started beating again, this time with more fervor. As I looked into his eyes, my thoughts seem to stop badgering me, and suddenly everything seemed to fall into place. Like puzzle pieces had fallen from the sky and had landed in their specific locations within a quarter of a second. Then it felt as if someone had quickly squeezed my heart in their fist. I… I was…

"I… James… I have to… I'm in…"

"You should get some sleep, Lily." He slowly began to stand up and I slid off a bit. He gently pushed me off of his lap, and I was standing on the floor in front of the couch, James standing centimeters away from me. I looked up at his face, but he refused to look at me. He looked like he was fighting some inner conflict.

"You look really tired… you should really get to bed."

I began to walk away from him, looking back.

"Wait. Lily, I…" his hand reached out as if to grab mine, but then he caught himself and it lowered back down to his side.

"Good night, Lily."

"Good night, James." I walked to my room and began to shut the door, peeking out of the crack. I watched as James ran both hands through his hair, and then collapsed back onto the couch, once again the glower returning to his face as he challenged the fire.

I shut the door completely, changed into pajamas and collapsed onto my four poster bed.

I couldn't get to sleep. Partly because I was still recovering from my attack. Secondly, and most prominently, thoughts of James filled my head. He had saved me from a lot of excruciating pain tonight, possibly even my life. I could still feel the tingles from where his body had been pressed to mine as he held me. I thought back to when I had first met James… he had been an arrogant troublemaker, all the way up until fifth year, when the…incident with Severus had happened. I had hated James. Hated that he had picked on Sev, hated that he constantly asked me out, ruffled his hair, teased younger kids, disrespected everyone… I had completely loathed James Potter, wishing his existence had nothing to do with mine. Then I thought about the James I had seen tonight. That was the real James. The loyal, protective, loving James. He was an extremely fierce friend… he had trusted me with his secret with the Marauders, and Remus. I couldn't help but respect him for that. He willingly risked his life every month to be with his friend, to comfort and support him. I knew that when he said something, he meant it. He would always keep his promises, hold his secrets.

I gazed at the ceiling, not really seeing anything. I hadn't wanted James' existence to have anything to do with mine… but now, without it, I wasn't Lily. I knew I felt something… something strong for James. It was long past a friendship. It had been for a long time. I don't even know how long. It hadn't happened just this year though. Maybe, all that loathing of James… had been a shallow outer shell of what I truly felt. There had been hate in the beginning, but I knew I stopped hating him a long time ago. I knew he had always liked me… and now those feelings, on my part, were definitely reciprocated. Snuggling under my covers, I knew what I had to do.

Hey Everyone! Next chapter up! Sorry there's not a lot of humor… this one was a pretty somber chapter. BUT I PROMISE, next chapter, there is enough Sirius for everyone to go around. I've got something special cooked up for that bloke…

Heracyn

aka LiLy-saLvatore-cuLLen


	6. Step 6: Chat With a Mutt

I woke up around 9 AM on Saturday morning. I had forgotten to pull my bed curtains, so the sun streaming into my face was my wake-up call.

"Mmf. Bugger."

I pulled the covers over my head and tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. Clearly, no more sleep was to be had this morning. Bloody hell. I hadn't fallen asleep until about 5 in the morning. My thoughts had continued to wash in and out of my head. Ocean brain. That was me.

I pulled myself out of bed, stretching and cracking my back a bit. I sat on the side of my bed, legs dangling off the edge.

Last night flooded back into my head. Everything that had happened with the Slytherins and… and with James.

James.

The man I was in love with.

I could admit it to myself without flinching or being ashamed of myself.

I was certain. I was in love, _in love_ with no turning back, with James Potter.

How was I going to tell him?

_Shit._

After all these years of seemingly hating him, I don't know how James would react to it. I knew he still had feelings for me. I could see it in his eyes… his gorgeous hazel eyes… filled with warmth and love and…

Lily. Back on topic please.

Would he be angry?

Would he even _believe _me?

How does one go about relaying one's heart's interior to someone who believes they can't stand the very ground they walk on?

I was in a bloody pickle.

A pickle, I tell you.

Did James know what a pickle was?

_Of course he does, you idiot. Why are you even asking yourself this?_

_Because I'm nervous and don't know how to tell James that I love him._

_So you… you are going to ask him if he knows what a pickle is?_

_No…_

_That's what it sounds like._

_Who are you, anyway?_

No answer.

Wouldn't be eating pickles for awhile, that's for sure.

Bloody hell. Bloody buggering hell. I was a nervous wreck.

I glanced at the clock. I had been sitting and talking to myself for about 15 minutes.

_Okay, Lily. It's time to get dressed and meet Frank and Alice for breakfast._

Thank you Pickle Thought.

I jumped off my bed and went to my wardrobe and commenced making myself socially acceptable to go down to breakfast.

When I left my room, I saw that James' door was open, hinting at the fact that he was already downstairs at breakfast.

Good. I wasn't ready to deal with him just yet.

I crawled out of the portrait hole and went down the various flights of stairs to the Great Hall.

As I entered, looking over at the Gryffindor table, I saw Alice waving over to me. I waved back and made my way over to where she and Frank were sitting. The Marauders… and… and _James_ were sitting a few seats down from them.

"Hey Alice. Hey Frank."

"Good morning, Lily! Wow… your eyes… you look like you didn't sleep a wink last night."

"I really didn't. It was a rough night of rounds."

"I see. Anything we should know about?"

I thought about this. I didn't want to worry Frank or Alice… didn't want to bring them into this at all.

"No. Nothing big. Pass the waffles?"

I sneaked a glance at James as I poured syrup on my waffles. James' eyes were baggy as well, suggesting he had the same problem that I had. However, he looked as happy as ever. Looking like he had no cares in the world. In fact, he was grinning like an idiot, cutting up sausage and handing it to Sirius who was launching the bits at Remus. Poor Remus.

"Eat. Sausage. Moony. Yummy!"

Sirius' words were enunciated with each sausage he flung at Remus with his spoon.

"PADFOOT, STOP WITH THE SAUSAGE ALREADY." Remus had had enough and could ignore the sausage catapults no longer.

"Aw, Moony. Fun killer. You mind picking those sausages up? They still look delicious." Sirius winked.

Remus scowled.

"No, I don't think I will."

"What a waste of sausage Moonykins."

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to attack me. Now eat your breakfast."

"Fine. But don't think this is over, Moony. I have just begun.., BUT HO! WHAT IS THIS?"

Sirius shouted and stood up quickly from his seat. James, who was sitting next to him, looked at Sirius strangely.

"What is what, Padfoot?"

Sirius pointed a quivering finger at his omelet.

"_THAT."_

"Those are eggs, Paddy."

"No, no, no, Prongs… _in _the eggs. That green stuff." Sirius picked some of the green stuff out of his omelet and waved it in front of James' face.

"Cut it out, Pads… I can't see it clearly… that's spinach."

"A FIEND!"

"No, Pads… a VEGGIE!"

Sirius wiped the spinach on James' shirt.

"Er, thanks, Pads." He took the spinach off his shirt, put it on his plate, and patted it affectionately.

"Did evil ickle Sirius bother you, spinach?"

James chuckled at Sirius and proceeded to eat the spinach out of Sirius' omelet.

Sirius frowned.

"That was impeccably gutsy spinach to dwell in my omelet like so."

"Aw, Paddy. It's just spinach! Give it a break."

"NEVER! I see it has pulled you into its leafy trance."

"Indeed?" James asked with a mouthful of Sirius' spinach omelet.

"Indeed. This leaves me no choice, Prongs."

Sirius grabbed his fork and leapt up onto the table, making everyone jump, and the rest of the Hall go extremely quiet. I almost choked on my waffles.

Peter fell back out of his chair at Sirius jumping up onto the table, and the toast he had been eating flew up into the air and landed with a _splat_ right on his face. Remus coughed into is orange juice and began laughing at Peter. Then he proceeded to watch Sirius in amusement.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I, SIRIUS BLACK, SLAYER OF SPINACH, CONQUISTADOR OF CABBAGE, HEREBY CHALLENGE YOU, PRONGS, TO A DUEL, AND DECLARE WAR ON ALL THINGS LEAFY AND GREEN!"

James just looked, unfazed, up at Sirius, who was pointing his fork at James' face like a sword.

James finished chewing, wiped his face delicately with a napkin, put it down and smoothed it out. Then, he grabbed his spoon, and leapt up onto the table across from Sirius, pointing his spoon at Sirius.

James grinned.

"PADFOOT. I, JAMES POTTER, LIBERATOR OF LEAFY GREENS AND PROTECTOR OF PRODUCE, ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! ENGUARDE!"

James dove at Sirius who put up his fork to cling into James' spoon.

The entire Great Hall was watching, laughing, cheering, and talking to each other.

I could hear the tiny tinkling of the utensils banging against each other.

I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my waffles, when suddenly the tinkling became a loud clanging.

Sirius' and James' fork and spoon had turned into swords.

I watched as Remus put his wand back into his robes, smirking, and going back to his orange juice, still watching James and Sirius.

They both stopped in shock, backed away from each other, and looked at their swords in amazement. Then, at precisely the same moment, they looked at each other, shrugged, and began to duel.

I looked at the teacher's table and saw McGonagall turning a beet red, with her teeth clenched, and my eyes trailed to Professor Dumbledore who was… was… _watching the match with his feet propped up eating popcorn._

James and Sirius, meanwhile, were shuffling down the tables, leaping to other tables and clanging swords while shouting at each other.

"ENGUARDE LETTUCE LOVER!"

"TOUCHE, SLAYER OF SALAD!"

"Oh, good form, Paddy."

"Thank you, Prongs."

"Where do you find time to practice such impressive sword technique?"

"Oh, you should see my skills with a _different _sword, if you know what I mean…"

"I see. I had no idea those talents transferred."

"There is much I must teach you, dear Prongs."

"I agree, my good Padfoot."

They leapt onto the Slytherin table, and continued their fencing. Sirius took a swing at James, who ducked, and Sirius' sword ended up chopping some hair off of Lucius' head.

"OI!" Lucius covered the top of his now bald head in embarrassment.

Sirius just looked at Lucius and smirked.

"So it's _not _a wig. PAY UP, MOONY! HIS HAIR IS REAL!" and lunged at James again. They leapt to the Hufflepuff table.

James was ready with a counter swing. They locked blades and leaned in face-to-face towards each other.

"This is the end, my friend. I cannot simply let spinach possess a bloke and let him live to continue these shenanigans."

"But, soft, mate, for I have another trick up my sleeve…"

James reached behind him and pulled hidden spinach out of his back pocket and threw it at Sirius' face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE FOE HAS ME IN ITS GRASP!"

Sirius dropped his sword on the table and fell to his knees dramatically, clutching his face.

James did a fancy twist with his blade and pretended to sheath it.

"YOU… YOU VILLAIN!"

"THOU ART THE VILLAIN, PADFOOT. DID MY MOTHER NEVER TELL YOU ENOUGH TO EAT YOUR VEGETABLES?"

"…YES. YES SHE DID… BUT… I COULDN'T… I JUST, PUT THEM IN MY LAP… AND GAVE THEM TO YOUR FISH…APPARENTLY, SPINACH IS BAD FOR FISH. I'M SORRY PRONGS. FORGIVE ME."

"_YOU _ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WIGGINS' DEATH?"

"YES. YES PRONGS."

James pointed his sword up to the ceiling and knelt.

"Wiggins! I have failed you. Please, accept this as my apology."

James pretended to stab himself by shoving the sword in between his torso and arm. He clutched his heart.

"REMUS! TELL MY MOTHER AND FATHER… THAT I… I FAILED."

"Right-o, James. I will."

"AND FOR ME, REMUS! TELL MY HAIRBRUSH… THAT I WILL MISS ITS DELIGHTFUL COMPANY!"

"Yes, Sirius."

Remus pretended to jot the information down.

James and Sirius collapsed in a heap onto each other.

There was silence, with a few girls loudly sniffling.

Then there was thunderous applause.

James and Sirius stood up, and grasped hands, bowed, and leapt off the table.

They put their arms around each other and went back to their seats, only to meet up with McGonagall.

"WHAT was the MEANING of that performance?" She yelled.

James and Sirius looked at each other, then back at McGonagall.

"30 points from Gryffindor for disturbing a peaceful breakfast. Potter, I expect _much _better from you, seeing as you are the Head Boy and need to set an example for younger students. Black… can't say I'm surprised."

I was surprised to see that McGonagall was trying desperately to conceal a grin, and had laughter shining in her eyes.

"Aw, Minnie. Don't you know that I was fighting for _you? _You are my damsel in distress. My princess in the tower. _My only love._"

Sirius knelt in front of McGonagall, taking her hand and pressing it to his heart. James sat down in his seat and shoved his fist in his mouth.

"I hereby declare my undying love for you, Minerva Beatrice Lynnette Mackenzie Jane McGonagall. Promise me, you'll wait for me. Wait until we can leave this dreadful place, where leafy vegetables are planted and harvested to be forced down throats of innocent children. _Promise me we will elope." _

McGonagall turned a slight tinge of pink.

"Bone-chilling, Mr. Black. I suggest you leave the Hall before I give you detention."

"Your words sting, my love, but if it is this that will make you content, consider it my only reason to oblige." Sirius stood up, kissed McGonagall's hand, smirked, and then walked away. He paused at the doors and turned around. "Minnie… our first date! I've just thought of a spectacular idea! We shall share a _giant bowl of oatmeal. _I'll even provide the toast this time." Then he blew a kiss and left.

I could still see the laughter in McGonagall's eyes. I didn't have to look for the laughter in Dumbledore's. He was convulsing in silent hysterics in his seat.

I watched as Sirius left the Great Hall, and an idea formed in my head instantly. Quickly excusing myself from Alice and Frank, I quickly followed Sirius. I had to talk to him.

I exited the doors, looked to both my left and right, searching for Sirius. I spotted him to my left, going down the hall.

He lounged down the hall, humming to himself.

"Hmm hmm… Lucy in the sky with diamonds… AAAAAAAAAaaaaaa….!"

"Sirius."

Sirius jumped, and eeped like a little girl and looked behind him, spotting me. He cleared his throat.

"Evans, my lovely flower petal, what can I do for you this FINE morning? And let me assure you… that abomination of a sound I just emitted was COMPLETELY manly. For the record." He straightened an invisible tie.

"I… I want to… we need to talk about James."

"About Prongsie? Whatever about?"

"Well, er… about… I mean he's… I think I…"

"What, do you… do you _fancy _him, Evans?" Sirius laughed as if he had told the world's funniest joke. He didn't believe himself, I knew because of the Marauder smirk that formed on his lips.

I hesitated. I knew the truth. I didn't know if I could trust Sirius though. _Screw it. Just tell him. If he's anything like James, I can trust him. If James trusts him, then I do, too._

"I…er… yes. I do. More than fancy. I… I think I _love _him, Sirius."

Sirius squealed. _Squealed._ He took me up in a big bear hug, twirling me around.

"EVANSY BLEVANSY MC CHUCKLE FUZZYKINS! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! YOU AREN'T JOKING, ARE YOU?"

"Sirius!" I gasped. He was squishing me. "Sirius! Put me down! I can't breathe!"

He let me down, staring at me with incredulous eyes. He was panting… his wide grin reaching his eyes and almost blinding me with how bright his eyes were. He was breathing hard from excitement and the physical exertion of lifting me and spinning me in a circle.

"Er… Sirius… you're drooling."

"Oh shit! Look at me... it's like I'm a dog or something..." He wiped his mouth off, and suddenly, he became very composed and… there was a demeanor of protectiveness about him. His eyes narrowed as he looked at my face. He set his hands on both of my shoulders.

"Lily Evans. Please tell me you are telling the truth and not toying with me. It's enough that you toyed with James' heart all these years, but I swear to Merlin's left pinky toenail if this is in jest, I'll… I don't know." He looked away from me. I tried to talk, but Sirius started again. He looked angry, but his eyes gave away a strong sadness.

"Do you realize how painful it is to watch your best friend… no… your _brother…_ go through day after day of agonizing heart break? Then see him again in the morning, with this confident expression on his face? He always told me, every morning at breakfast, "Pads, today is the day. I just know it." And do you know what I told him, Evans? I told him, "Yes, it is, Prongs… yes it is." Knowing deep down that it wasn't. Every day… it was just a cycle. Wake up confident, try to woo you, go to bed destroyed. But he kept mending his heart. Night after night. There were some days I thought he wouldn't be able to. He never gave up on you. Still hasn't. You don't understand, Evans. He _loves _you. This isn't just a teenage crush. He is certain, one hundred percent positive, that you are his _one._" His grey eyes penetrated mine, searching for any sign that I wasn't being honest, trying desperately to save his best friend from pain.

I was speechless. Then some anger infiltrated my calmness. I poked him in his chest.

"Sirius… _you _don't understand…I… I thought he was only joking around. I felt like I was just another victim of an extremely enduring prank. It made me really angry and irritated. I didn't want anything to do with him. He was so immature, and after that day, when he used a _date_ with me as some sort of bargaining tool… making it seem like a date with me meant absolutely nothing to him…and losing my friend… I blamed him…I cried for days, Sirius! Weeks! But… I… I realized this year that he wasn't joking. Never had been. I thought about that day again, last night… realized he had saved me from a relationship that would've hurt me worse in the long run… and that date he asked for was just the nervous ramble of a boy interested in a girl, but not knowing any other way to ask. I know he loves me, Sirius. I _know._ And… I love him, too. It took me awhile…but better late than never, right?" I tried to smile.

Sirius smiled at me, chuckling a bit. "I suppose so, Evans. You actually mean it, huh? I have to tell you, I'm surprised. Ol' Prongsie's faith paid off after all... I suppose if you want something bad enough, you don't give up on it. So… what do you plan on doing about this?"

"I really don't know. I've never experienced this before… I don't know if I can… tell him."

Sirius waggled his eyebrows. "Evans… sometimes talking is overrated." he put his arm around me, and we walked down the hall.

"Wait, how are you such a relationship and love guru? You only have one night stands."

"Evans, Evans, Evans. Have you not seen my efforts to woo Minnie? She is my one true love. The other girls are to fill the void that she has caused in my heart."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am. In both logics."

"Really? McGonagall?"

"No, Evans. That would be wrong on so many levels. But let me tell you about my theory about Minnie and Albus…"

"SIRIUS! EW! NO!"

Sirius' barking laughter filled the empty hallway.

"Anyway. You know what you _should_ do…"

It was evening, and I had decided to sit down in front of the fire and get started on my Muggle Studies homework. (Easiest first, if you know what I mean. I'd save Transfiguration for tomorrow. Or the next century.)

I had just begun matching the appliance with its use when I heard the portrait hole open.

James crawled through, stood up, and ran his hand through his hair, a motion I did not mind at all anymore. In fact, it made him even sexier…

"Lily?"

I jumped out of my hair revelry.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, I was thinking about… last night…"

_Oh no. I wasn't ready to tell him! Quick, Lily! Run over to the window and jump out!_

I gulped.

"Wh-what about last night, exactly?" _I didn't want to explain the lap part… too embarrassing. I wasn't ready to do what Sirius said I should do._

James walked over to the couch and sat down on the arm rest of the couch and stared into the fire.

_What was so damn interesting in the fire these days?_

"About your…" _Behavior? JAMES I CAN EXPLAIN! JUST LET ME JUMP OUT THE WINDOW FIRST…_

"…attack."

_Bloody hell._

"I was thinking about that too…" _Sure I was._

"Being the Head Students, I can only see fit to inform Dumbledore."

_But what if they sought revenge?_

"But, James…"

"BUT WHAT LILY? THEY COULD HAVE… I CAN'T LET THAT…" James had stood up in a rage and was roaring at me. Both hands swam through his hair.

"James… I only meant… they might seek revenge…"

"They'll only try it again if we don't do something, Lils."

"James… that night… they were talking about you, too. About how…"

"How I'm a blood traitor? Yeah, I've gotten enough of that. I don't _care, _Lily… The Pure Bloods that think that… that they're the best… and should… I just… I can't."

He plopped down again.

We were silent for a few minutes. The fire _was _rather interesting after all.

"C'mon, Lily."

James grabbed my hands, causing by book to slip out of my lap as he pulled me up.

He held onto my hand as we navigated our way through the halls to Dumbledore's office.

The large statue stood in its formidable way. Two torches glowed next to it.

"Mint chocolate chip." James uttered.

The statue began to shake. It turned around revealing a stair case.

James pulled me onto it, and the stair case rotated us up to a large solid oak door.

James wasted no time in knocking.

"Do come in, Mr. Potter. Ms. Evans." Said a jolly voice.

"How does he bloody…"

"Your language, Mr. Potter."

Creepy. We hadn't even opened the door yet.

Still holding hands, James and I entered Dumbledore's office. It had to be one of my favorite rooms in the entire castle. It was just so… so Dumbledore-esque… Muggle things hung from the ceiling, like bicycles which pedaled by themselves. He also had a better assortment of candy than Honeydukes. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

We ascended the stairs to his desk, where we found Dumbledore himself feeding bits of licorice to Fawkes. The phoenix cooed and purred each time Dumbledore held another one to his beak, then he would joyfully nip it out of his fingers and chew it, instantly opening his beak for more.

"My two Head Students. So wonderful to see you. It has been quite some time!" Dumbledore stood up, pouring the rest of his licorice bits into his mouth and wiping his hands on his robes. Fawkes looked a bit put out.

"Hello, Professor. Lily and I have something important to tell you pertaining to an event last night."

"Do sit down, do sit down." Dumbledore sat back down in his giant chair, folded his hands across the desk and looked at us expectantly. Fawkes' head jerked back up hopefully.

"Not now, Fawkes, we have company."

James and I sat down, but he refused to let go of my hand.

"Last night, in the dungeons, a group of Slytherins attacked Lily."

Dumbledore's eyes widened a bit.

"Continue, Mr. Potter…"

James nudged me.

_Bugger._

"Okay. James and I had decided to separate…"

I explained every detail to him. At some points, my eyes filled up with tears, and James would squeeze my hand reassuringly. He also jumped in to help explain his part in the whole ordeal.

After we had finished explaining, there was silence. Dumbledore moved one of his hands to his chin.

"Oh dear. I was afraid of this. They have now infiltrated Hogwarts." He looked extremely sad and sorry.

"Ms. Evans, I apologize that in such a place I thought was safe, you had to suffer through all of that. I hope you can forgive me."

I nodded, eyes remaining on the floor.

"It only seems necessary, now, that I tell you about a special organization I have been building since last year."

James and I looked up, interested.

"What sort of organization, Professor?"

"It is called the Order of the Phoenix. It is a group of wizards and witches who wish to fight against the Dark Lord and his followers. Now, I know that both of you are at the top of your class, and it would benefit the Order very much if you joined. However, this decision is up to you. Feel free to take all the time you need. Do not tell any others about it. I have a list of students who I think would benefit the Order as well. You are sworn to secrecy."

James squeezed my hand, let go of it and stood up.

"I would like to join, Professor."

I looked up at James. _Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into?_

"Are you sure, Mr. Potter? I told you to take all the time you need to make an informed decision."

"I want to join Professor. Never in my life have I been more of anything."

"Very well, Mr. Potter."

Dumbledore flicked his wand, and a scroll of parchment appeared out of nowhere. He brought his finger down the list of names, stopped, and wrote something next to what I assume was James' name. Peeking my head over just a little bit, I scanned the list of names.

_Sirius Black_

_Remus Lupin_

_Alice Prewitt _

_Frank Longbottom_

_Marlene McKinnon_

That was a bloody long list.

"Thank you for telling me about your unfortunate circumstance. Again, I am very sorry. To both of you."

James looked at me and offered his hand.

I grabbed it and he pulled me up, and we began to walk towards the door. Millions of thoughts were going through my head. I abruptly stopped.

"Professor!"

I looked back at Dumbledore and felt James come to a stop and look at me.

"Sign me up as well."

Dumbledore smiled, as if he knew I would make that decision.

"Very well, Ms. Evans. You both have a good night, now."

"Good night, Professor."

James seemed a bit angry as we walked back to our dorm. He was squeezing my hand a bit tightly.

When we got to the portrait hole, he let go of my hand roughly, said the password and crawled in the hole. I followed.

James stormed over to the couch and laid down stomach-down, burying his face in the pillow.

I went over and sat on the edge of the couch, right by his face. I placed my hand on his back.

"James, what's wrong?"

He lifted his face from the pillow.

"Lily… do you know what kind of danger we're putting ourselves in?"

"I understand completely. Both of us are affected by this James, it only seems like the right thing to do. I want to fight."

"I don't want you to."

"James…! Why would you say such a thing? You know I'm completely capable of defending myself, and fighting…"

"I can only see last night over and over again, Lily! I… I can't help it. I don't know what I'd do if something… happened to you."

He placed his hand on my face and stroked my cheek. I leaned into his touch and shut my eyes.

_Do it now, Lily. Tell him. _

Sirius' voice filled my head, but right at the moment I prepared myself, James dropped his hand, stood up, and bid my good night.

Right before he entered his room, though, he turned around to face me again.

"I know you're strong, Lily. And we'll… we'll work through this together." He gave me a small smile, and turned into his room, shutting his door.

"I love you, James." I whispered.


	7. Step 7: A Finale to Snog For

If there was one thing I had always known about James Potter, it's that whenever he had to take his mind off of things, he would grab his broomstick and his snitch and head out to the Quidditch pitch… no matter the weather. I had seen him do this in rain, strong winds, extreme heat and unbearable cold.

It was decent weather this Sunday afternoon. Sunny, a slight breeze, perfect.

I had been watching James from his window for about an hour now. His window had a perfect view of the Quidditch pitch.

Seriously.

That man lived and breathed Quidditch. The first match wasn't even until mid-October.

Dedication.

Only one of the many things I loved about James.

How could I have not been with this man long before now?

Why had I waited this long?

Today was the day. I knew it. I was going to tell him.

My heart had been beating faster than usual for this past hour. Just seeing a small figure of James had my nerves on a marathon run.

If that wasn't love, then what is?

_No, we are not condoning the fact that seeing a tiny James and going nuts about it is love._

Right.

I had come into James' room earlier, searching for him. I had wanted to discuss this Order of the Phoenix thing in more depth. Then, my hopes were that discussion would lead to a different discussion, somewhere along the lines of _us… _and being _together,_ and how we were both so passionately in love with each other that it hurt…

But no. It looked as if I would have to take Sirius' advice.

"_You know what you_ should _do…"_

Why did I let Sirius plant this idea into my head? Why?

But at the same time, it calmed all of my previous worries about James not believing me.

If I did what I was supposed to do… there was no way he _wouldn't _believe me.

Kisses have that effect on most blokes.

I returned my gaze back to James. I followed his motions as he dove in a particular direction.

His pursuit of the snitch reminded me of something more close to home.

His pursuit of me all these years.

He was a Chaser, after all. Not a Seeker. Why did he even bother chasing a snitch?

_Maybe because it symbolizes you. Spending so much time searching for and pursuing someone… only to win big when that someone is finally attained…_

He had been persistent in the beginning. Asking me out at least 20 times a day.

Sixth year… nothing. I suppose being told that if he ever asked me again, I would send an army of rabid Chihuahuas after his hamburger encased balls… would make him stop.

Except… cheeky wanker had asked me how, exactly, I would get hamburger on his balls.

The rabid dogs would do it for me.

Because I didn't have balls to do it myself.

That was for sure and for certain, because I couldn't even tell him how I felt yet.

_Merlin, grow a pair, Lily._

WELL _FINE_, PICKLES!

I stood up, looked out the window one more time, and retreated out of James' room.

Exiting the portrait hole this time was one of the slowest events in recorded history. Snails could have run laps around it.

You see, while crawling into the small tunnel leading to the portrait itself, I had begun to shake violently.

_I was actually going to do this._

_Are you sure you don't want to just tell him?_

_No. Not effective enough._

_You are going to kiss him. On the mouth._

I had stopped, my head touching the portrait, on my hands and knees.

"Are you going to exit, or just dig your head into my arse all day, Head Girl?"

_Oh, dig my head in your arse, for sure. Much better than what I was forcing myself to do._

"I very much appreciate your arse." I answered the portrait.

"You have a multitude of issues, young lady."

_As if I didn't already know that. _

_I would be obliged to enlighten the portrait about my current issue. But whatever._

"I'm leaving."

The portrait swung open, and I crawled out. The portrait shut quickly, the woman smoothing her skirts and glaring at me.

"I have been violated."

"Oh shut the bloody hell up or I'll tell Sir Cadogan you have an unyielding crush on him."

The portrait gasped.

"You _wouldn't."_

"Oh, but I would."

"We will not speak of this ever again."

"Noted."

We both nodded, and I turned on my heel and began my journey to the Quidditch pitch.

I was such a coward.

I had made it to the Quidditch pitch and James had not yet noticed me.

This could be because I was trying my best to hide behind one of the hoops.

Or the bloke was just so engrossed in his activity that he wouldn't notice me if I had a glowing sign pointing to my whereabouts.

I was a fan of the latter excuse.

I peeked behind the pole and up into the air, my eyes following James' every move. Dreading… and hoping that he would notice me soon.

_He won't notice you behind a pole, Lily._

Only too true.

I strode out behind the pole and walked to the middle of the Quidditch pitch. Now there was no reason for him _not _to notice me.

I once again looked up to watch him.

The wind blew his raven locks back. His T-shirt rippled as he tore through the air.

The sun glinted off of his perfectly tanned body.

I checked my mouth to see if I was drooling again.

James + Quidditch = uncontrollable salvating.

I watched as James dove towards the hoop I had just been hiding behind.

_A little late, you bugger._

He extended a muscular arm and I watched as his fist wrapped around a small golden object.

He held it up in the air and whooped, then checked his watch.

After stuffing the snitch into his pocket, he began to descend to the ground by the hoop.

When he hit the ground, he looked around a bit.

That's when he noticed me.

"Lily?" He called out.

I took a deep breath and began jogging over to him.

James ruffled his hair and put his broomstick over his shoulder.

I was about 10 feet away.

"How long have you been out here, Lils?"

When I didn't answer, he tilted his head in confusion.

I reached him, swung my arms around his neck and brought my lips to his for a chaste kiss.

James stumbled back a little.

Five seconds had passed, and he still hadn't responded. His arms hadn't even wrapped around me.

I slowly broke off the kiss and opened my eyes, staring into his, which were about ten times bigger than normal they were opened so wide. His mouth was slightly ajar. He dropped his broomstick.

I felt like a moron. I was aware of myself turning bright red.

I bit my lip and tucked some hair behind my ear. I was still uncomfortably close to James who was staring down at me incredulously.

I licked my lips. I couldn't look at him. My eyes started to sting with tears.

"I… I'm sorry, James. I shouldn't have… I…" I whispered, but was unable to finish my sentence.

Because at that moment, James wrapped his strong arms around my waist and closed all the space between us and brought his lips down onto mine. I instantly responded.

We were devouring each other's mouths, and when his tongue asked for entrance, I wasted no time in allowing him in, eagerly slipping my tongue into his mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck and I began to fiddle with the hair at the nape of his neck. He groaned. He brought one of his hands up from my waist and brought it behind my head, pressing it closer to his. I felt his lips curl up in a smile, and at the same time, my mouth had decided to smile as well.

I don't know how long we stood there snogging the living daylights out of each other. But eventually we surfaced, staring at each other, grinning like idiots and trying to catch our breaths. It was James that broke the silence.

"Go out with me, Evans?"

"You've asked that enough, James. Now it's my turn." Putting on my best James impression, I ruffled my hair and lowered my voice saying, "Go out with me, Potter?" I pretended to push glasses up my nose.

James sniggered, but then composed himself.

"I can think of nothing I would like more." He responded softly, stroking my cheek. He cupped my face and brought me to his. We came together again, but James pulled away quickly.

"Wait… Did I seriously come across like that? Blimey, I'm a git! I should-"

I put my finger on his lips. He gave it a gossamer kiss, and smirked.

"Shut up, James." And then we were kissing like it was the last few moments we had together. Even though deep down, we both knew we had so many more moments to come.

Hello lovies!

This would be the last chapter of _**How to Fall in Love With an Arrogant Toe Rag!**_

Thank you to everyone who stuck with me and were adamant readers.

Also, I very much appreciate the reviews. Thank you to those who consistently reviewed. Like any other author, I love to hear that my work is appreciated.

I'm still trying to get over the fact that this is it! My story is done!

However, I might post an epilogue I wrote for this. It's up to you readers, though, if you want that to happen. Some people might like the way the story ended just now, and some readers may want an expansion. My epilogue is bloody adorable, and a lot of snogging and fluff ensues, but again, it's up to you.

Thanks again to my wonderful readers! You were my backbone!

Much Love!

Heracyn

aka LiLy-saLvatore-cuLLen


	8. EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

James and I were finally together. It was an amazing feeling.

No matter what was going on in our world, knowing that I now finally had James by my side, in my heart…

_My James…_

And that I was in his heart…

_His Lily…_

We would be okay. Everything would turn out alright…

And for some reason, I felt like James and I would play a large part… we'd somehow help.

Me and my silly thoughts.

Speaking of which.

I had acted upon a silly thought I had this morning.

It was now evening, after a long day of classes. James was at Quidditch practice, as they had a match this coming Saturday.

I was in my room, sitting on my bed, my back leaning against my pillows, writing in my journal.

But this wasn't a regular entry.

This was a check list of sorts.

I had written the title on the header of the page:

_How to Fall in Love With an Arrogant Toe Rag: by Lily Mae Evans._

Then I had stopped.

I was chewing on my quill when James walked in, freshly showered.

"Wotcher, Lils?"

"Nothing much. How was practice?"

"Excruciatingly painful. I ought to give that captain a piece of my mind. He works us too damn hard." James smirked as I giggled a bit.

"Come and sit with me." I patted a spot next to me. He didn't take that spot. Instead, he climbed behind me and stretched both his legs out on either side of me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Writing something?"

"Yeah. Wanna help?"

"Of course." He kissed my neck, up to my ear, nibbled it, then kissed his way back down.

I shivered, and felt James grin against my skin.

"That's not helping, James."

"Mm?"

"Oh, whatever."

I wrote my first point.

_Step One: Notice how gorgeous his hazel eyes are whilst being crushed to death_

"You think my eyes are gorgeous, Lils?"

"Duh."

"Aw… Lilykins. Have I ever told you I love _your _eyes?"

"Millions of times, Potter." I grinned up at him.

"My favorite part about you." He leaned in and kissed my eyelids.

I started to scribble again.

_Step Two: Accidentally see how sexy he looks shirtless while playing Quidditch_

"You should put quotation marks around 'accidentally,' Lily. That was no accident. You were checking me out. Admit it."

"I most certainly admit it."

"Aw, c'mon, Lils! Don't be stubborn! Stop lying, you were totally… wait. You do?"

"Yes."

James looked dumbfounded.

"Huh."

I just laughed at his expression. He looked so adorable.

I scratched down another idea.

_Step Three: Go swimming in the Black Lake in the middle of the night with a secret buck_

"That was bloody awesome."

"It was cold water, James."

"Stupid Filch. I almost had you then…"

"Sure you did, James. I was only…er… appreciating your body warmth."

"Yeah?" His eyes bored into mine. I gulped.

"Y-yeah."

"You seem a bit warm right now, Lily. Does that have anything at all to do with my proximity?"

"Of course not. I wasn't cold to begin with."

He leaned closer to my face. A blush instantly bled across my face betraying my thoughts. His lips were an inch away from my lips.

"How about now? Any effect?" He whispered. I felt his breath wash over my mouth.

"N-no."

He leaned the rest of the way in, kissing me in a slow and antagonizing manner. I think I heard Merlin singing choir hymns. Not joking. I mean it.

He broke the kiss and grinned at me.

"Warm now?"

"Very."

Another step popped into my head.

_Step Four: Serve detention with a bloody git and share a bathroom with aforementioned insufferable toe rag_

"I made that detention fun, Lils."

"Because putting labels on bottles is the all-encompassing definition of _fun_."

"When you put Jamesie-poo, detention extraordinaire in the picture, then yes. Yes it is."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, _Jamesie-poo."_

"Hey. Only Sirius and I are allowed to call me that."

"Oh, so you have feeling for Ickle Siri-kins, too, then?"

"Not the point. And what is this about sharing a bathroom? It… it wasn't _that_ bad… was it?"

"James. If we _ever _live together, we're getting separate bathrooms. On opposite sides of the house."

"Seriously?"

"Ya."

The next phrase I was hesitant to write.

_Step Five: Get rescued from Slytherins by an insufferable wanker by hiding in a broom closet_

James tensed, and I froze.

I looked up at him.

"James… Thanks for that…I…"

I was cut off as James aggressively dipped his head and pressed his mouth to mine. It was a simple, close-mouthed kiss, but there was so much emotion in it.

"I told you, Lils. Don't say it."

I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder and continued writing.

_Step Six: Chat with an arrogant pooch of a best mate_

"Sirius is NOT… okay. He is."

"Yep."

_Step Seven: Snog the life out of one James Potter. Rigorously_

"I really do like that last title."

"I thought you would."

I looked up at him. His eyes had darkened. And he had a look on his face that I had come to know _way_ too well.

"James…"

"I think we should act it out. Now."

"JAMES-mmmf."

James' tongue was instantly in my mouth. I moaned as James gently began pushing me down so my head was towards the foot of my bed. He took the journal out of my hands and gently tossed it to the side. I wrapped my arms around his neck, his were on either side of my head. Our lips continuously crashed down on each others, ravaging every part of the mouth we could reach. His lower torso was between my legs, so I wrapped my legs around his waist. He reached one hand down, and starting at my stomach, ran his hand up my body and up my arm… and…to my hand…?

He plucked the quill I had forgotten I was holding out of my hands.

He gave me one final kiss, and I could feel him smiling.

"MY TURN!"

He sat back up and grabbed my journal and began scribbling something. I still lay disheveled from our brief snog session…

I pulled myself together and crawled back into James' lap. I looked at what he had written.

Under my list was a new title.

**How to get a Lily to Fall For a James: by James Ryan Potter**

"Oh, great title, James."

"Thanks."

He wrote a sentence.

**Step One: Valiantly and bravely and humbly save a fair, emerald-eyed maiden from pincers of certain death**

"…Yeah… about that…"

"It was bloody hilarious, Lils. Not at the time… but now that I think about it, it's rib-cracking."

"It literally could have been, had you not turned that demon spawn into something Hagrid could use to eat a bloody cup of yogurt with. And you almost cracked my ribs when your heavy self landed on me."

"Forgot about that one…"

He wrote something else.

**Step Two: Display (very sexily, in an extremely sexy-like manner) sexy muscles of sexy sexiness to target of interest**

"James, you're not egotistical _at all._"

"No, Love. I just state the facts."

He looked so serious I couldn't chastise him further.

More scribbling.

**Step Three: Take a moonlit swim whilst a creeper is observing**

"I am NOT a creeper, James."

"So, wait. You're telling me that following a bloke and observing him while hiding in bushes_,_ Lils, _bushes,_ is not creeping or stalkerish at all?"

"Well, when you put it that way… I guess… You win."

James pumped his fist.

"Oh, shut up, James."

"But I didn't _say_ anything!"

"I…uh…" I looked around as if a response would pop out of thin air. I was at a loss for words, so I reached up and nibbled his ear. "Lils…" he groaned and tried to kiss me on the lips. But I turned away, teasingly. James hmphed and wrote something more.

**Step Four: Paste potion labels on bottles with the woman of your dreams, and have your towel stolen by that same Lily Evans**

"Which WAS NOT fun."

"Definitely not."

"And…I didn't steal your towel! It just happened to be the last one!"

"Sure Lils. You just wanted to see my body."

"Oh wise one, you caught me."

"I KNEW YOU LIKED WHAT YOU SAW!"

"Erm… yeah. Sure."

The quill scratched onto the paper.

**Step Five: Be her knight without the shining armor, because armor is way too heavy and would weigh down upon this god-like body **

"You _would _complain about something like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh… nothing."

"Lily…" He mock glared at me.

"Oh, just reiterating that this same knight can't peel labels off of bottles."

"That was below the belt, Lil."

"Yeah? Did I wound your ego?"

James sniffed and wiped an invisible tear.

"…Yes. I don't know how I will ever regain a sense of self esteem."

"How about… if I-"

"Kiss it and make it better?" He perked up and smiled in his angelic way, eyes wide and hopeful.

"…Sure." I kissed his nose. Then tried to look back down, but James caught my chin.

"That wasn't nearly enough to replenish my ego." And with that he kissed my mouth once again. We stuck our tongues in each other's mouths, and snogged for about a minute before he pulled away.

"That's sufficient."

"Yeah?" I answered breathlessly. That bloke's snogging skills. I tell ya. Damn.

He wrote another sentence.

**Step Six: Have no clue what a certain Paddy and Lily are up to**

"He was the one who told me to kiss you… and then he demonstrated as to how to go about doing it… hehehehehe."

"He didn't!"

"NO James. Sirius just wanted me to imply that if it ever came up. As a joke. You know Sirius."

"I'm putting a bark collar on that prat."

"Be nice, James."

"No."

Another phrase.

**Step Seven: Get your breath knocked out by a pouncing Lilykins**

"I just ran to you."

"No. You leapt at me. It was quite frightening."

"Whatever."

James slapped the quill down onto my journal.

"So I guess _that _is how you fall in love with an arrogant toe rag."

James laughed, and kissed my nose.

"I would actually prefer to call it: How a lucky bloke wins the heart of his love of forever."

"James… you're such a cheese puff."

"Maybe so, but you love me for it, so… that's how it goes."

"Yep. That's how it goes."

Then we wrote:

_**How Lily and James fell in Love.**_

It was simple and to the point. Perfect.

_**Signed,**_

_**Lily Mae Evans and **_**James Ryan Potter**

_**October 8, 1978**_


End file.
